


For Good

by skinnedkneedmisfit



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Iwaizumi can sing, Lots of OCs - Freeform, M/M, musical theatre canon-divergent au, substantial gay thoughts, unbelievable amounts of pining, wicked the musical - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-03-28 12:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 37,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13904427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skinnedkneedmisfit/pseuds/skinnedkneedmisfit
Summary: “Iwa-chan! Our roles have very significant weight! It’s important that we, as the Number One and Number Twenty-Eight Most Popular Boys in School, don’t disappoint our fellow peers by putting forth a half-assed production!”“I still don’t understand why you’re so gung-ho about this. You can’t even sing and you got cast as the character with the second-most songs.”“So? And you can’t act, so we have a lot to teach each other.”“You can’t act either!!”Oikawa accidentally on purpose sabotages Iwaizumi's audition for the school musical and lands himself a position much more formidable than stagehand.





	1. If I Only Had A Brain

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for checking out my story! A few notes before you dive in:
> 
> The musical the kids will be performing is _Wicked_ , one of my favorites (this story is incredibly self-indulgent). However, my beta is completely unfamiliar with the play (has no idea what it is about, who the characters are, the plot, nothing other than what I discuss in the fic) and they said that the first chapter reads perfectly clear and is still enjoyable from the perspective of someone who loves iwaoi but doesn't know _Wicked_. So if you're hesitant to read because you don't know _Wicked_ , don't be! I promise it will be fun!
> 
> For people who are fans of Haikyuu and _Wicked_ , you're hopefully in for a treat!
> 
> (This fic does pretty much give away the entire plot of _Wicked_ , so if you are also unfamiliar with the plot but really want to see it live and also want to avoid spoilers, perhaps proceed with caution).
> 
> To help with the musical moments, I've hyperlinked some of the lyrics or song titles to youtube videos for people who haven't heard the soundtrack and are curious about what the characters are aiming for. (Hopefully the links work…)
> 
> That's about it! Thanks for reading!!

 

**_CHAPTER ONE  
_ **

If I Only Had A Brain

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

_Gosh, it would be awful pleasin'_  
_To reason out the reason_  
_For things I can't explain_  
  
_Then perhaps I'll deserve ya_  
_And be even worthy of ya_  
_If I only had a brain_

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

Iwaizumi Hajime is many things. Tooru just wished his Best Friend could see how great he is. When Tooru was at his worst, clouded with dark thoughts on the walk home after losing to Karasuno, Hajime spoke to him. Just a few words, but they meant everything.

_ “You’re the greatest partner I’ve ever had,” _ he’d said.  _ “And the greatest setter I’ve ever known. Even if we’re never on the same team again, that will never change.” _

No small speech coming from Hajime. It gave Tooru the courage to smile again, but the most he could say in response was,  _ “Back at you!” _ when Hajime threatened to kick his ass.

Tooru wished he could articulate his words better. Hajime always knew just what to say and when to say it. Sometimes short-tempered, sometimes brash, but always what Tooru needed to hear. He knew Hajime was hurting, too. If only Tooru had the means to express himself outside of a fist bump and a confident smirk… If only he had a stage to perform all the feelings Hajime brought out in him…

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

The Aoba Johsai Arts Festival was, arguably, the very last time a third year student could really cut loose and have fun before losing their youthful zest to the torturous college entrance exams. While the first and second year students held booths and projects based on their classrooms, the third year classes would often (voluntarily, so as not to interfere with studying) group together and give the school a big going away present.

Which was why Oikawa Tooru of Class Six, Iwaizumi Hajime of Class Five, Hanamaki Takahiro of Class Three, and Matsukawa Issei of Class One, a week after losing against Karasuno in the Spring Inter-Highs, all heard the same announcement from their individual class representatives that they would be putting on a play.

Tooru’s class rep stood at the front of the classroom, a calm confidence about her that only comes from being the class rep every year since middle school. “It’s a play many of you have heard of, and a lot of you are already familiar with the songs.” She started writing the title on the whiteboard.

Tooru cringed. A musical?

The whispers rose and a group of girls that sat together near the middle of the classroom erupted in squeals.

_ Wicked. _

The class rep continued, “Auditions will be held in the auditorium after classes next Tuesday, along with stagehand signups. Voting will happen after the auditions, so you’re encouraged to sit and watch even if you won’t be participating.” She walked to the front of every row and deposited a stack of papers to the first student to take a sheet and pass the stack down. The poster art printed on the handout looked familiar, something Tooru remembered seeing on Hajime’s mp3 player but nothing he ever thought to listen to. It was a list with the preliminary timeline, all the cast and chorus needed to be filled, and stagehands necessary to put on the play.

Tooru tapped his eraser thoughtfully on his desk. Scouts from pretty impressive colleges had been hovering around their practice matches for months before the Inter-Highs, and the simple notion that they didn’t make it to Nationals didn’t dissuade them of Aoba Johsai’s obvious strength. Some talks of scholarship offers had already begun, so he didn’t necessarily have to worry about studying too hard. He supposed he could grace the play with his talent… Maybe as a stagehand or something low-risk. Put his muscles to good use.

“On Wednesday we’ll open it to a class-wide vote, and roles will be announced on Thursday.” The class was in an uproar, talking about their favorite characters and favorite moments. “Any questions?”

An immediate forest of arms sprouted in a split second, and the class rep called on someone in the second row. “Isn’t this play a little long for us to perform?”

“Yes, we’ll be working with an abridged script penned by the reps in Class Four. It will be about forty-five minutes long.”

“You’re deleting over half the play!” a different student complained.

Tooru paid little mind to the rest of the chatter and read over the sheet in more detail. It had a list of characters, who they were, and songs they would have to sing. Ah, it looked like the play was some sort of spinoff from The Wizard of Oz. There was Galinda, the good witch, and Elphaba, the wicked witch, and a short list of other names.

“Are you thinking about auditioning?” Ikeda Keiko asked from beside him. Once upon a time, Tooru harbored quite the crush on Keiko-chan. They even dated for a couple weeks in their first year, until she decided jocks weren’t cute anymore and that the boy in the baking club was cuter (followed by the boy in math club, poetry club, art club, and a seemingly endless list after). With so much in common personality-wise, they managed to become fast friends after residual feelings faded.

“I don't think this school could handle the true expanse of my talent,” he responded, because despite the fact that Tooru couldn’t sing to save his dearest nephew’s precious life, he wasn't about to admit it. He noticed none of the character descriptions mentioned the character’s gender, sometimes going in very oblique paths to avoid it. Tooru glanced over when he heard another student ask about it.

“It’s an open casting call, so you can audition for any part you want to, regardless of the character’s original gender.”

The class was in an uproar about how they  _ had _ to have a girl play Fiyero and dress her up like Lady Oscar. Oikawa turned and smiled at Keiko-chan’s long, layered, bright mane of hair. “You should audition for the prince, then.”

“The only one in our class worthy of being a prince is  _ you,” _ she teased. “I wouldn’t mind auditioning if it was just Class Six, but with all the third year classes participating it seems like too much competition…”

Tooru never strayed from competition. Hell, maybe this  _ Fiyero _ character wouldn’t be too difficult. They only had one song and a duet. The cast listing described them as  _ ‘An attractive socialite that charms both Galinda and Elphaba.’ _ Even Oikawa couldn’t deny the resemblance was uncanny. How difficult could it be to learn to sing a couple songs?

“For you, impossible,” Makki said, mouth full of rice from his lunchbox during their break. He sat on the rooftop along with Hajime and Mattsun, plus a good fifty other students enjoying a bit of sunshine before winter truly started to seep in.

“It’s just a couple songs…”

Mattsun seemed amused, stuck between encouraging Tooru to audition or saving him from embarrassment. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into,” he simply warned. “You can be stagehands with Makki ‘n me.”

“You can come over if you want,” Hajime said, until that point only quietly digging through his lunch and listening. Tooru had noticed that he seemed extra-attentive, probably pent-up energy due to not having morning practices as regularly. “I have the original Broadway cast recording and the Japanese recording. They’re both good. It sucks that they’re taking away so much of the story, though.”

Makki shifted to pull the folded up handout from his back pocket. “What’d they tell you about it?” he asked, not knowing much about the play himself, as Mattsun leaned in to give the handout a better read-through.

“The original play is a retelling of the events that lead up to  _ The Wizard of Oz, _ like the backstory of how Galinda became the Good Witch of the North and Elphaba became the Wicked Witch of the West, and how the Wizard, Tinman, Cowardly Lion, and Scarecrow were created. It’s a pretty emotional play,” Hajime answered. His parents loved supporting the arts, and would always buy tickets to big theatrical productions. Sometimes they would take weekend vacations out of town to see them, which always made Tooru jealous. He knew Hajime liked musicals, but he never talked about it much, and stopped going to the theatre with his parents once high school started.

Hajime probably would have joined Theatre Club too, if it weren’t for his natural athleticism and Tooru badgering him to join the Volleyball Club in middle school. In elementary school, Tooru recalled fondly, Hajime actually had a very pleasant singing voice and would sometimes sing with the children’s choir. Sometimes he would hum quietly in the gym showers after practice, and it struck Tooru suddenly that soon he wouldn’t be able to hear him sing as often anymore, once school ended…

“But they’ve taken out a lot of characters… I’m curious what the hell they’re doing with it,” Hajime muttered. He seemed somewhat perturbed and was getting that cute wrinkle Tooru liked to tease him about between his brow.

Without hesitating Tooru poked Hajime on his wrinkle and asked, “Which characters were those?” as Hajime automatically smacked his hand away.

“The cast is just Galinda, Elphaba, Fiyero, Madame Morrible, and The Wizard. I don’t get how they’re going to tell the story with just that…” Tooru hadn’t seen  _ The Wizard of Oz _ since he was a little kid, and the old-style film and sound didn’t appeal much to him back then. Even so, he remembered the plot just fine, but most of those names weren’t familiar to him at all.

Tooru decided it didn’t make much sense to continue asking questions without properly researching the play. He’d borrow the CDs from Hajime and study up. Makki turned the conversation over to something funny his biology teacher said while Tooru observed Hajime being a million miles away, humming to himself.

The walk home was the most pleasant it had been since a week ago, after their final game together. Hajime wasn’t one to talk much, but Tooru was thrilled to listen to anything Hajime had to say about this play. He liked the idea that Makki and Mattsun wanted to be stagehands, and with Hajime as surprisingly into this as he was, Tooru wasn’t about to let this chance slip them by. This chance to do one last final thing as a  _ team. _

Hajime’s room is always tidy. Tooru’s convinced he’s never visited once when his bed wasn’t made, and he’s stayed the night enough to know that it’s the first step in his morning routine, before even using the restroom! He only had one bookshelf, on which he mostly stored back issues of Jump and old notebooks from previous school years. Despite the relatively small amount of books he kept, it always smelled like aged paper with a soft hint of cedar, and Tooru loved to tease about his room smelling like an old man’s bedroom. Tooru’s favorite spot on the bookshelf was about a foot of space reserved for a Godzilla plush he had given Hajime as a gift way back in middle school, next to a small framed photograph of them in their Kitagawa Daiichi uniforms after their first official match together.

And while everything looked tidy on the exterior, Tooru knew that Hajime’s desk drawers were a chaotic mess, and hidden under his bed were storage bins filled with all his personal effects he squirreled away for the sake of  _ memories, _ because Hajime was secretly a very sentimental young man. A shoebox of ticket stubs, a binder of Pokémon cards, birthday cards dating back as far as they can remember…

But near the front, in a flat plastic tub all on its own, was stashed all the old playbills from every performance he saw with his parents, along with CDs, rolled-up posters, commemorative t-shirts now too small to wear, and countless other novelties, many of them signed. Hajime never really bragged about these items, but Tooru appreciated how he always handled them with care.

After a moment of digging, he pulled out two CDs, both with similar covers of a lady dressed in white whispering into the ear of a lady dressed in black with green skin and smirking red lips. “I recommend starting with  _ Jiyuu O Motomete _ , that’s the big popular song everybody likes.” He flipped over one of the CDs in Tooru’s hands and pointed to the eleventh track. “It’s called  _ Defying Gravity _ in the Broadway version.”

Tooru loved it when Hajime spoke English.

“Can you sing this version?” he asked, holding up the import CD and enjoying watching Hajime’s face flush with embarrassment.

“Just take them home, dumbass. And be careful with them!” That was as good as a  _ Yes _ in Iwaizumese.

It didn’t make much of a difference, anyway. The CDs would only be in his possession on the walk to his house next door, burned onto his computer, and then returned the following morning. Tooru turned the Japanese edition case over to read the track listings. “So which one of these is your favorite?”

Hajime didn’t even pause to think. “Anata O Wasurenai, the second to last track.”

“Sing it for me.”

Hajime looked like he’d just sucked a lemon. “What? No.”

“Then how am I supposed to know what’s so great about it?”

“Go home and listen to it yourself, loser. Leave me alone so I can get this essay written.” Hajime was fine with Tooru hanging out when their homework was workbooks or studying, but when it came to writing he needed to focus. As much as Tooru wanted to spend time with his best friend, he didn’t want him to fail either.

In his own bedroom in the house right next door, Tooru popped the CDs in his laptop and began burning them. He looked up some pictures and read wikis about the play’s history and plot. So apparently, Glinda and Elphaba went to school together, and Elphaba had a younger sister named Nessarose who was confined to a wheelchair and falls in love with a Munchkin boy named Boq, who would become the Tinman. There’s a young prince who goes to the same school named Fiyero, who would later become the Scarecrow, that starts dating Glinda but is secretly in love with Elphaba. One of the teachers, Madame Morrible, only targets talented students for advancing her own position. Doctor Dillamond was another teacher, a goat-man, who tells Elphaba that animals are losing their rights, which was the origins of the Cowardly Lion, and it causes Elphaba to start fighting for the social rights of animals. Lots of things happen that lead up to the point where the  _ Wizard of Oz _ story that Tooru was familiar with began.

It was intriguing. The characters seemed interesting. He listened to the Japanese soundtrack first, because he wanted to understand what he was listening to. He laughed more at some of the songs than he was willing to admit. Around dinner, his mother slid open his bedroom door and found her son lying on the floor with his headphones on and a doofy grin.

“What are you doing?” It was normal for Tooru to hunch over his laptop watching volleyball replays like some sort of manic gremlin, but she couldn’t recall the last time she saw him enjoy himself like this. Her intuition had told her that Tooru would need a significant amount of time to heal after their loss. His smile was a welcomed surprise.

“It’s an album for a musical the third years are throwing together for the Arts Festival.” He stood and followed her to the dining room. The house had filled with the aroma of salmon terikyaki without him even realizing it. His dad was in the kitchen chopping vegetables.

“A musical? That sounds like fun. Are you going to help?” she asked. Tooru automatically started setting the table.

“I might be a stagehand. They probably need my organizational expertise.” He heard his father stifle a chortle behind him, probably in response to the sorry state of his bedroom after exam season, or their backyard after one of Tooru’s at-home practices, or their laundry room after game day. “I don’t know much about the play. And, ah… I’m euphonious but I’m not exactly…”

“It’s okay, Tooru,” his mother said, placing a delicate hand on his arm. “I can’t sing, either.” She gripped his sleeve, staring wistfully into the middle distance like in the dramas she liked to catch up on the weekends.. “I feel like I’ve failed you, in some way…”

“Will this interfere with practice at all?” his father asked, sliding the vegetables off the cutting board and onto a skillet.

While he had kinda-sorta retired as the team’s captain, he still showed up for after-school practices a couple times a week to stay in shape and keep on the radar of the college scouts. Thankfully, after the big loss, he got a call from a couple recruiters from big Tokyo schools who had seen the game. One had nothing but amazing things to say about Tooru and still expressed interest, and told Tooru to keep his schedule clear after the new year to take a trip to Tokyo and tour the campus.

In Tooru’s case, regular volleyball practice was the same as studying for finals, so of course his parents were going to make sure he stayed on top of it.

“It might get a little chaotic come  December the closer we get to the Arts Festival, but… I wouldn’t hate the distraction.”

Still a taboo topic, Tooru could feel his parents take in sharp breath as they brought the food to the table. “So! Stagehand?” his mother asked as Tooru started biting into the salmon first.

“Yeah, Makki and Mattsun are signing up too, so we can be stagehands together.”

“Tooru don’t talk with your mouth full.”

“What about Hajime-kun?”

Tooru paused. Hajime hadn’t said anything about auditioning, but it was clear he loved the play. “I don’t… know…” he mumbled, which was not an answer he usually gives whenever someone asks him a question about his Best Friend. “Probably a stagehand too.” It made the most sense. He could see Hajime teaming up with the kids in prop development from the Theatre Club to help build sets. Hajime, with his sleeves rolled up, muscles flexing, as he hammered a stair prop together. And for some reason he’s glistening even though he’s building sets in the middle of winter?

Tooru loudly gulped his food down.

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

The rest of the week carried on and Tooru honestly meant to ask Hajime how he wanted to participate in the play, but for how excited he was the day of the announcement, Hajime hadn’t mentioned it once since. In the past, this usually meant that Hajime had simply forgotten about it and moved on, so Tooru didn’t trouble him by asking too many questions. In the meantime they kept busy helping Yahaba with preparing for the next season, and at night after parting, Tooru filled his free time listening to the soundtrack over and over again.

Despite what he’d thought, he’d grown rather smitten with the music. Once he had listened to the Japanese version on repeat for days, he moved to the original Broadway recording. Tooru’s English comprehension could probably use more attention, but he was able to understand some of it enough to really appreciate the range of the singers. Every song sunk deep into his thoughts and stayed stuck in his head until the afternoon of auditions.

And suddenly, Hajime was nowhere to be found. Normally they met at the volleyball club changing rooms if they were meeting up for practice, or at the shoe lockers if they were going straight home, but that day Hajime wasn’t at the lockers. He waited for him for so long that auditions had already begun.

“Did Iwa-chan say anything to you guys about going to the auditions?” Tooru asked, meeting up with Mattsun and Makki near the entrance to the school auditorium.

It took a moment for Tooru to wade through the sea of people, while Makki replied, “I haven’t seen him since lunch.” The play had garnered a lot of attention so it seemed like almost the entire third year class was here, along with students from other grades. There was a girl on stage singing one of Galinda’s songs in a very operatic alto, and there was a table at the front where a line of third years had formed to sign up to be stagehands or offer up their other talents.

A lot of girls giggled and waved as Tooru passed by towards the stage.

“Thank you, Atsuko-san,” a girl said in the third row. “Next!” Tooru recognized her as Kikuta Jin, the third year president of the Theatre Club and director of most of the performances the club had put on the past two years. And a couple rows behind her, sitting near the aisle, was Aoba Johsai Volleyball Club’s own libero Watari Shinji.

Another girl stood center stage and started singing  _ No Good Deed Goes Unpunished _ as Tooru approached his teammate. “Watacchi? What are you doing here?”

The second-year looked a little caught off guard but ultimately wasn’t surprised to run into his senpais here. “I came to see this months-long train wreck in real time,” he answered with a cheeky grin. Watari was probably the most musically gifted on the team if talent were measured on technical skill. Tooru remembered that one time he brought some sort of Moog synthesizer to the club room to show off, and the music he posted online always got thousands of hits, so he supposed it made sense that Watari was here.

Still, Tooru was less than impressed and put his hands on his hips patronizingly. “Shouldn’t you be at practice?”

“Are you kidding? Coach would’ve been an idiot to schedule practice over the biggest event of the year.” Tooru had already opened his mouth to snap back when Watari waved a hand. “Relax, relax, Captain. It’s an  _ off day, _ we’re just resting. Look, even Kindaichi-kun and Kunimi-kun are hanging out in the back.”

Tooru looked up to where Watari was pointing and saw his two dearest kohais splitting a bag on convenience store chips at the very back row.

“I honestly wish my class would do something cool like this. Did you know that seven of my classmates in 2-6 make up the ten members in the Junior Space Explorers club here?” He seemed affronted. Tooru was aware of the club, of course, but he couldn’t take part in any of their activities thanks to his captaincy. It was one of those clubs that a bunch of friends created to kill time after school more than any real research of outer space.

“Fun class.” It must be nice not having to panic about entrance exams. Tooru was jealous.

“It’s terrible. We’re doing a dumb planetary.” Now Tooru was substantially more jealous. “There’s no art involved! Just a room covered in black craft paper and some twinkle lights.”

That sounded exactly how Tooru wished his bedroom looked in primary school. “Yeah, that sounds…” Really freaking cool. “…awful.”

“Thank you Sarada-san,” Kikuta said. “Next!”

Tooru saw Watari shift in his seat and returned his focus to the stage. Keiko-chan was walking to center stage and smiling radiantly, but he knew her well enough to see the nerves in her quaking breaths. Tooru’s heart warmed at the sight of seeing her audition, and couldn’t help but be proud of his friend for actually going through with it.

“I’m Ikeda Keiko from Class Six,” she announced loudly and clearly, already setting herself apart from the other girls Tooru had seen audition so far. Or perhaps that was his own bias showing. “I’m auditioning for any role you think I’d be a good fit for… That in mind, I’ll be singing Nessarose’s segment from  _ ‘Dancing Through Life.’” _ She waited until Kikuta nodded her head before continuing.

Keiko took a deep breath and began,  _ “Oh, Elphaba-Isn't it wonderful? Finally for this one night– I'm about to have a fun night– with this Munchkin boy Galinda found for me. And I only wish there were– something I could do for her!” _

Tooru’s experience with the Volleyball Club was so far removed from the arts that he didn’t really get to experience something like this often. Keiko was an amazing singer, Tooru had always known that and felt somewhat outshined whenever they went to karaoke together. But something about seeing her singing in the spotlight with no backing music to distract just made her that much more luminous. It had been a long time since he had heard her sing, and a pleasant surprise to hear her just as strong as ever.

She completed the segment to a smattering of applause, even from Watari, and Tooru noticed Kikuta whispering to the boy taking notes to her right. “Lovely, Ikeda-san, thank you! Next!”

Tooru turned back to Watari, who had a pleasant smile. “She was better than I thought she’d be!”

“She sits next to you in class, right?”

“She does, but it’s not like we’re breaking out into song every period or anything…”

“Yo, Cap,” Makki said, approaching towards them followed up by Mattsun. “There’s a lot of people that wanna help with the production, so it looks like they’re cutting off sign-ups soon. You’d better hurry.”

“Don’t worry, Makki. Even if they close up registration, they’ll always make space for the…” Oikawa trailed off when he noticed the next auditioner taking center stage.

Makki, back to the stage, remained oblivious. “…The?”

Tooru was thunderstruck. He couldn’t believe his eyes. “…The …Great…”

“Hey Makki, he must mean  _ ‘The Great and Powerful Oz.’ _ I think the play is getting to him,” Mattsun chuckled.

“My name is Iwaizumi Hajime from Class Five, and I’ll be auditioning for the part of Fiyero.”

The two knuckleheads’ eyes snapped open wide and they turned around to see Hajime, unaware of them being in the crowd, looking towards the director and her crew. When Hajime took his first big breath before singing, Makki turned and glared at Tooru. “Don’t you  _ dare.” _

It was already too late. Tooru was already walking towards the stage.

_ “ _ [ _ The trouble with school is– they always try to teach the wrong les— _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNA3RTvFH6E) _ ” _

“IWA-CHAN!”

It wasn’t that Tooru was going out of his way to sabotage Hajime’s chances at landing a part, it was more that he was upset that his  _ Best Friend _ never told him a damn thing about wanting to audition. And of course, as is the most auspicious of  _ Best Friends _ rites, Tooru was granted every argument to make Hajime’s life a living hell. There are no secrets between  _ Best Friends. _

“IWA-CHAN!! YOU NEVER SAID YOU WERE AUDITIONING!” Tooru nearly shouted, loud enough to interrupt Hajime and earn him a death glare he’d long-since grown immune to.

Tooru had nothing to be afraid of. What was a stage in an auditorium but a volleyball court in an arena? He was used to being the center of attention, so it didn’t phase him to make a little scene by sitting his ass on the stage and sliding around, getting up on his feet and sauntering towards his  _ Best Friend. _

“Shittykawa,” he growled, not so much a greeting as it was a threat. Hajime was  _ embarrassed.  _ His face was bright red, a sight Tooru rarely got to see when it wasn’t caused by exhaustion on the court.

“I’m surprised you’re trying out for the dashing prince instead of the munchkin boy. It would make sense, given your height.”

_ “Go.” _

“But I suppose Fiyero does have his strengths. After all, neither of you have a brain!”

“Leave. Now.”

“Aw, but I wanted to audition too! Surprised? I decided to keep it a secret for The Great and Powerful Oikawa-sama’s Grand Theatrical Debut!” Predictably, a lot of younger girls in the audience squealed. Tooru pandered to them by giving a dainty wave. “So, allow me to pick up where you left off.”

He stood in front of Hajime, staking his claim on the attention of the room.  _ “Believe me, I’ve been kicked out of enough of them to kno~ow!” _ God, his singing was atrocious, but it earned a pretty loud bout of laughter from everyone in the audience. From the corner of his eye, Tooru could see Hajime approaching him. It wouldn’t be long before he was yanked offstage.  _ “They want you become less callow– less shallow—” _

“You could learn a thing or two about that at Dear Old Shiz, you piece of crap.” Hajime reached his arm around Tooru’s neck, attempting to pull him into a headlock, but Tooru escaped easily.

“Iwa-chan, you’ve grown so slow in your old age! Ahem _ –But I say why invite stress in?” _

Tooru dodged another lunge, but held onto Hajime’s arm to pull him back, pressing his chest into Hajime’s impressive back. He wrapped his arms around Hajime’s biceps, a feat that wouldn’t last long, and locked him in place.  _ “Stop studying strife–” _

“Let go of me!”

_ “And learn to live–” _ Hajime was able to flex large enough to break free, something that Tooru was sure he would expend far too much energy thinking about his next lonely night in bed, and attempted to escape.  _ “The unexamined–” _ This time, he managed to grab onto Hajime’s hand, thick and calloused, and spin him right up against Tooru’s body. Hajime was an ace wing spiker, after all. Despite all the bulk and muscle, he was ultimately light on his feet.  _ “–Liii~ii—” _

“OKAY boys. Thank you,” Kikuta projected, holding up her hand to shoo them away. “Next!”

Hajime, still breathless and pressed against Tooru, decided to ignore him and turn towards the director. “But I haven’t–”

“We’ll take your audition into consideration, Iwaizumi-san and Oikawa-san. We have a lot of auditioners to go and can’t waste time.  _ Next!” _

Hajime sighed in defeat, then shoved Tooru off him. He stalked off the stage without another word.

It was the silent treatments, Tooru knew, that signified he was  _ really _ in trouble.

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

After hours, when the sun had set and most of the students had returned home, Kikuta and the rest of the participating theatre club third years held a meeting.

“Not a lot of good singers, this time around,” Kikuta sighed, flipping through the notes that her  assistant director, Saito Makoto, took throughout the auditions.

“Ikeda-san from Class Six stood out,” Saito commented.

“It was a shame Oikawa-kun had to ruin Iwaizumi-kun’s audition,” a girl sitting across the table sighed. “I went to the same elementary school as them, and Iwaizumi-kun used to have a really nice voice. I always wondered if it survived puberty…” She was Yazawa Miwako, a small girl with big hair and even bigger dreams, as well as the head of costuming and prop design.

“He used to sing?” Kikuta asked, trying to remember the audition before Oikawa interrupted. Iwaizumi did seem to have a nice, level timbre to the opening line, but that part of the song is more spoken than sung so it was difficult to get a proper assessment.

“I’m in the same class with Matsukawa Issei, one of the stagehands,” a boy sitting next to Yazawa pitched in. He was Kazune Ryuunosuke, and was in charge of backdrops and large set dressings and worked closely with her. “After we announced the musical, I heard him mention something about how Iwaizumi-kun sometimes sings in the showers after volleyball practice and isn’t half bad.”

“Hmm…” Kikuta mumbled, and Saito took that as a sign to put a star by Iwaizumi’s name. “And what did we think about Oikawa-kun’s audition?”

“Was that even an audition? I thought he was just messing around,” Kazune said, though he paused to consider a moment. “Well, I mean, if he really was trying to audition for Fiyero, Oikawa-san definitely has the attitude… Even if he’s never acted before, I get the feeling that emoting for a crowd won’t be difficult for him.”

“We only have two male roles, Fiyero and the Wizard,” Saito added. “Nobody auditioned for Wiz, though.” Meaning, that  _ if _ they were to take both players in the botched audition into account, only one of them would get the role of Fiyero, and the other would be stuck with the less flashy role of an old man.

Kikuta stepped in, “We knew auditions would be spotty, which is why we didn’t restrict the roles to gender.”

“So– what? You expect Galinda and Elphaba to be played by men?” Kazune laughed. Yazawa beside him suddenly gasped loudly, cupping her hands over her mouth. It was too late, she already captured the attention of the room. Kikuta lifted her brow expectantly.

“I just… The thought just occurred to me… You know, Oikawa-kun likes to playfully antagonize Iwaizumi-kun all the time, right?” she asked. Judging by the looks in their eyes, the rest of the meeting was catching on rather quick.

Saito whipped his head over to Kikuta. “Stop. I know what you’re thinking. You can’t.”

Kikuta gave him a look. “Well, lucky for you, it’s not up to me. Almost the entire school saw their audition today, so both their names go on the ballot. We’ll get final say in all casting decisions, but Oikawa-san has presence. He’ll put asses in seats. It would be foolish not to cast him, if he’s serious.”

“And if he wasn’t?” Saito asked.

Kikuta shrugged mercilessly. “Then he shouldn’t have auditioned in the first place.”

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

So, Tooru has a deep, dark secret.

Something he’s only come to terms with relatively recently, and something that he’s not altogether willing to admit even to himself, unless it’s in the middle of the pitch night.

He might… have developed… somewhat emotional…  _ good _ emotional…  _ warm fuzzies _ emotional… feelings… for his Best Friend.

Tooru’s certain that these feelings were built up over time, but he never actually stopped to consider them until one summer break in his last year of middle school when he went on a family vacation.

_ “I wish Iwa-chan were here…” _ he’d muttered sadly, looking out the window as they passed by rural farmland. The same rural farmland that he saw the last time he looked up from his phone an hour ago. Nothing but an endless expanse of rice paddies. Unfortunately, this was also the summer where Iwa-chan jumped into a creek with his phone in his back pocket and as punishment his parents refused to buy him a new one until school activities started up again.

They were going to be gone a week, which isn’t even the longest time he and Hajime had been separated before. Hell, they’d gotten into fights with silent treatments that had lasted longer than a week, but it still sucked. It wasn’t like Hajime would miss him, anyway. His family would be taking a long weekend to Osaka to see a play - some sort of adaptation to  _ The Wizard of Oz _ \- and that kind of stuff sometimes distracts Hajime from Tooru more readily than Tooru wanted to admit from his Best Friend.

Attention would be nice. Any of kind attention, Tooru had thought while the rice paddies slowly started being replaced by buildings. It would be nice if Hajime looked his way more often. Tooru wouldn’t mind him saying nice things to him sometimes, things other than  _ “Nice toss!” _ or  _ “Good work!” _ after practice. Maybe… Tooru wouldn’t turn away some skinship. He was always quick to wrap his arm around Hajime’s shoulders, or touch his arm to get his attention, but at most the only times Hajime ever touches him is a slap on the back during games or a punch on the shoulder when he’s been acting out.

Nice touches. A hand resting on Tooru’s shoulder. Playfully digging fingers through Tooru’s scalp. Holding Tooru’s… hand…

This was probably the first substantial gay thought Tooru’d ever had. And it made his stomach do back flips, somersaults, cartwheels, painful splits. It was like his stomach was standing on the high dive at the school swimming pool during a test of courage and just… swan-dived leaving a gentle ripple behind. Like his stomach knew what the fuck it was doing and telling his brain there was nothing to be afraid of. Water’s fine. Jump right in.

So he did.

Hajime holding his hand!! Hajime holding his hand with  _ interlaced fingers _ , like the way lovers do on TV! Hajime…  _ kissing him! _

Young Tooru almost couldn’t contain it. The thought made him so happy he had to work to not actively squeal and alert his parents to this sudden awakening happening in the backseat of his mom’s grey four-door sedan. Unfortunately, he had squirmed a little too much during his revelation and caught his dad’s attention.

_ “You alright, kiddo?” _ he’d asked.  _ “Been awfully quiet back there.” _

Tooru gulped. “Fi _ ne. _ ” His voice cracked.  _ “All fine, dad. Are we there yet?” _

The rest of the trip was spent hopelessly enamored with his Best Friend, whom he couldn’t talk to or text or even see until he returned home at the end of week. Tooru couldn’t even remember what they did on that vacation, only the feeling of disappointment when he returned home, rushed over to Hajime’s house because he just wanted to  _ see _ him and  _ tell him everything _ and maybe  _ kiss _ him in a moment of passion!–

Only to have Hajime open the door in a pair or ratty old volleyball shorts, a shirt with armpit stains from the hot, humid summer, and greasy-flat hair. It hit him like a bus that, yes, this was his Hajime. The one that would punch him in the shoulder for acting out, the one that would yell mean things at him for being late to practice.

_ “Iwa-chan,” _ he’d mumbled.  _ “You stink.” _

Hajime had the gall to look offended.  _ “Well if I’d known you were gonna be coming over I would’ve showered! Don’t just cold-call someone’s house expecting them to be dressed nice.” _

_ “Iwa-chan, you should at least shower daily! Just because we’re not in school right now isn’t an excuse! Go, shower now, I can wait.” _

_ “Yeah, yeah.” _ Hajime had turned and trudged down the hall to the bathroom. It was like he was still a child, the way he complained about taking a bath. He poked his head out the door to give him the stinkeye when Tooru mentioned putting on clean underwear when he was through. Hajime had only been missing ten minutes before he returned, fresh as a daisy, wearing shorts that weren’t falling apart at the seams and a newer tank top. Tooru smiled widely when his Best Friend joined him in the living room, but something was different. Something had  _ smelled _ different.

_ “What’s that smell?” _

_ “What? Nothing.” _

But Tooru could tell Hajime was flustered.  _ “Is that– is that scented deodorant?” _ It smelled like like crisp salt water. Like Hajime had just stepped out of a beach, sunkissed and smiling. Hajime started using deodorant regularly once they started practicing volleyball in their first year of middle school, but always unscented.

_ “Shut up!” _

_ “No– no… I mean. It’s nice.” _ Tooru’s face had been too bright red to face Hajime, so he’s not sure what kind of face his friend made in response.

All he knew was that Hajime still wears that same scent of deodorant to this day. He has a stick at home and a stick he keeps in his volleyball bag, plus a spare kept in his gym locker just in case.

Tooru had wondered if maybe it was a fluke. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, fondness makes the absence longer. Perhaps the strong palpitations in his chest whenever he thought of Hajime were just a byproduct of not having him by his side 24/7. It  _ seemed _ reasonable.

At the end of his third year of middle school, his Best Setter award pretty much granted him automatic entry into Aoba Johsai on a sports recommendation. He was separated into a different class from Hajime, which was terrible, but with it came new friends, and a welcomed distraction named Ikeda Keiko. She was beautiful, smart, could keep up with Tooru’s maddening pace, didn’t mind that he was more dedicated to sports in the least. She was the perfect girlfriend…

But she didn’t smell like sea salt. She didn’t smack him upside the head when he said something stupid. She did very little to make Tooru feel special, other than allow him to practice tongue-kissing with her on his couch when his parents were gone. It set up for a disturbing trend after they broke up. No pretty face, no special talent, no amount of kissing or touching could tear Tooru away from the sport he loved, because that sport felt like the main thread holding himself and Hajime together.

And over the next few years, Tooru started to notice other changes about Hajime, like how he was starting to grow into his ears, and how his shoulders seemed to test the seams of his school-issued collared shirt, and how his voice had lowered, but never lost it’s steady, comforting rhythm. He still yelled, still punched, but Tooru found himself enjoying those moments, because it meant at least Hajime only had eyes on him.

Tooru could never forget the cartwheels and the swan-dives of his first discovery, but he found the infatuation was still there, still strong. Just, different. Every day he was discovering newer and greater things to be in love with. And sometimes he allowed himself to get carried away in imagining Hajime actually wanting to hold his hand, and kiss him, and more and more and more until it caused Tooru to blush hotter than the sun.

And then he would get wrenched back to reality by seeing him flirt with a girl in the hallway. And the way he kept secrets from him, like wanting to audition for the play.

Tooru rolled over to his other side on his futon, unable to be comfortable. The moon outside was too bright and the blinds weren’t helping. It would be one in the morning soon. Tooru sat up and peeked open the blinds and– yep, Hajime’s bedside table lamp was still on. Living next door to each other still had its perks, he supposed. He unlocked his phone to the same text screen he’d been staring at all night.

_ ♡♡♡Iwa-chan♡♡♡ _ __  
_ SENT 8:31PM : I’m sorry Iwa-chan!! _ __  
_ SENT 8:45PM : I’m really sorry, it was just supposed to be a joke _ __  
_ SENT 8:46PM : I can talk to Kikuta-chan tomorrow  _ (っ˘ω˘ς ) __  
_ SENT 8:46PM : Maybe try to get you a private audition  _ (♡ω♡) __  
_ SENT 9:27PM : Iwa-chan come on, I’m sorry _ __  
_ SENT 10:11PM : I’m getting ready to go to bed. Are we still going to morning practice tomorrow? _ _  
_ __ SENT 10:34PM : good night hajime

Tooru frowned. Normally calling him by his given name would get him some sort of response. He wished so hard that he had the words the properly tell Hajime everything, to tell him how sorry he was and what he meant. He wished he could at least tell him how amazing it was that he tried to audition in the first place. He was braver than Tooru had been. Instead, his gift of words was wasted on pointless ridicule.

_ SENT 12:56AM : ever stop to think that centaurs have two rib cages? _

_ RECEIVED 12:56AM : GO TO SLEE P. _

_ SENT 12:56AM : I would, except there’s this blinding light shining into my window, I can’t seem to close my eyes at all~   _ (￣ ￣|||)

After hitting ‘send,’ Tooru leaned back to his window and peeked through the blinds just in time to see Hajime’s bedside lamp blink off. He turned his attention back to the screen to see if Hajime would say anything else, but his phone gave no notice.

_ SENT 1:02AM : You never answered my question earlier, don’t be rude. _

_ RECEIVED 1:04AM : u dont get to lecture me about politeness u diseased sack of dogshit _ _  
_ _ RECEIVED 1:04AM : & of course were going t practice tmrw morning _

_ SENT 1:05AM : That’s not the question I meant  _ ☆⌒(ゝ。∂)

_ RECEIVED 1:06AM : go 2 sleep crappykawa _

_ SENT 1:06AM :  _ (っ˘з( ˘⌣˘  )♡

The emoticon didn’t elicit a response, which Tooru figured it wouldn’t. He sighed and locked his phone for the night, placing it on the floor beside his futon. Tomorrow he’d apologize to Hajime appropriately and they’d move on.

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

Hajime was waiting by the front gate to Tooru’s house like he usually did for morning practices. His set frown made it clear that he still wasn’t going to humor Tooru with conversation, but Tooru was growing into the type of adult who refused to let silent treatments fester.

“I’m sorry Iwa-chan. Please forgive me,” he said slowly and clearly, making sure to bow at a perfect angle.

Hajime rolled his eyes, looking around to make sure nobody else happened to be walking around them this early in the morning. “Get up, dumbass.” He started walking away, and Tooru straightened himself and caught up quickly.

“This doesn’t excuse my behavior,” he added, staying formal. “But Iwa-chan, you should have told me you were auditioning. I could have helped.”

“Ha! How could you have possibly helped?”

“You know! With acting! With stage presence! Annunciation! When you gave your introduction you were practically mumbling.”

“What difference would it have made once they heard me sing!?” he snapped back, showing his usual aggression that, for some horrible masochistic reason, never failed to put a smile on Tooru’s face. It was rare for Hajime to show such overwhelming confidence in something that wasn’t athletics-oriented.

“I wish you would sing for me more often. If Iwa-chan can’t sing for me, what are his chances for singing in front of a live audience?” Feeling that their rough patch had officially been smoothed over, he wrapped his arm around Hajime’s shoulders, bringing him in close. “What if my darling Iwa-chan gets discovered by a talent scout and becomes the next teen heartthrob!”

“Well, you can breathe easy,” he said, not pulling away from Tooru’s hold. “Thanks to you, I lost my shot.”

Hajime still seemed really upset about it, but Tooru felt like if he pushed the topic again it would just cause him to get angrier, so he let it go. They were almost at the school and turned their focus on volleyball for the next hour until it was time to get ready for classes. After they parted ways at the shoe lockers, Tooru entered his classroom and saw a group of students crowded around a stack of handouts on the teacher’s podium at the front of the room.

“Remember to only take one if you were at the auditions yesterday,” the class rep said loudly. “Fill out the ballot and return them to me before lunch. We’ll have the results for the final casting decisions outside the auditorium tomorrow morning. Please only vote once for each character listed. Whoever doesn’t get cast for a main role will be put in the chorus. Please choose wisely!”

Well, Tooru  _ technically _ witnessed the auditions yesterday. It occurred to him that after they were shooed offstage and immediately left the auditorium, Tooru never got a chance to sign up to be a stagehand, and Mattsun had told him that they were probably going to cap off the list of volunteers. But… on the other hand, Tooru had more fun playing around with Hajime onstage with a crowd than he thought he would, so maybe he could beg Kikuta-san and get himself into a chorus position or something.

The ballot was a list of all available characters – Elphaba, Galinda, Fiyero, the Wizard, and Madame Morrible – with empty spaces by their names, and a list of all the auditioners names to be hand-written in those empty spaces. Tooru looked down the list, saw Keiko-chan’s name and smiled, continued scrolling through, and…

Oh. Huh. There was Hajime’s name, right under Keiko’s. Tooru was glad that he was still under consideration, because at least that meant Hajime had a chance to–

_ Oh no. _

Tooru hoped his face wasn’t as pale as it felt when he discovered his name on the list of the potential cast members.

“This is so nerve-wracking, don’t you think?” Keiko-chan whined as she settled into her desk beside Tooru. “It feels like cheating voting for yourself… It also looks as if some people who auditioned didn’t get their names on the ballot.”

Tooru balked.  _ “Seriously?” _ Now he felt even worse.

“Well, I’m sure you saw, but some of those auditions were really rough… Why are you so shocked, though? I thought yours and Iwaizumi-kun’s audition was really cute!”

“That wasn’t– ah… Thank you…” Tooru muttered, too embarrassed to ham it up like usual but his usual hubris still pulling strong. Of course, Keiko-chan knew him well enough to see the difference.

“What on earth are you worried about? I thought your audition was funny. And I had no idea Iwaizumi-kun could sing! Even though I didn’t get to hear much of it, I guess…” Tooru felt another sword pierce his heart. “You’re lucky to have such talented friends.”

He took another look at the list, remembering some of the things Hajime had told him and what he had gleaned from his research. The play was going to be abridged, and some roles were going to be written out to save time. “The character song you auditioned with, Nessarose, she’s not on here…”

“Oh, I knew that going in. I didn’t want to audition for a particular role because, honestly, if I got cast as Galinda or Elphaba I’d probably turn it down. I wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure,” Keiko-chan laughed. “But if I sang a different song from the play, I hoped that it would prove I’m familiar with it and they would know how my singing voice sounded so they would take that into consideration.”

“How forward-thinking of you Keiko-chan,” Tooru complemented, voice distant as he tried to comprehend that the entire third-year class was going to see his name on this ballot and  _ laugh at him _ . He turned his attention back to the list to make his decision. Keiko-chan probably would make a good Fiyero, but since Hajime made it onto the list and actually auditioned for the role, he wrote his friend’s name in instead. Tooru wasn’t sure how much Kieko-chan would want to play an old man, so he put her name down for Madame Morrible. For Galinda and Elphaba, he recognized some of the names on the list as girls from the choir club that were members of his fanclub and wrote them in. The Wizard was a boy in his class that had apparently auditioned, although Tooru must’ve missed it.

After he finished, he folded his ballot in half and tucked it away until lunch break, where he passed it along to his class rep. It was too cold to eat comfortably on the roof anymore so they settled on the Volleyball Club room, one of the few places they could eat comfortably without Tooru constantly getting called out by passing girls.

“Okay spill,” Mattsun said as soon as Tooru entered the room. Hajime and Makki were already there, too. Tooru slid off his school shoes and placed them on the shelf by the door with the others. “Who’d you vote for?”

“A gentleman never talks politics at the dinner table,” Tooru said with a huff. Although instead of dinner it was lunch, and instead of a table it was a (hopefully) clean towel spread on the floor, and instead of gentlemen it was four of the grossest boys in Aoba Johsai.

“Iwaizumi as Fiyero and Oikawa as Madame Morrible. I wanna see Oikawa as the token schoolmarm,” Makki said.

“See, I thought that too, but I think Oikawa would make a better Galinda. He’d look amazing in that periwinkle ball gown.”

They got a good laugh from Tooru’s whining response. Of  _ course _ he’d look amazing in a ball gown. This bone structure was wasted on baggy men’s clothing. “Well  _ I _ voted for Iwa-chan to be Fiyero,” Tooru said, giving in and revealing his ballot.

Makki grinned. “Ahuh. And yourself?”

“If they’ll have me, I’ll join the chorus, but I made sure to vote for people who were more deserving of the roles.” It wouldn’t be fair to everyone else working so hard on this production to throw himself into this challenge on a whim if he wasn’t even sure he could do it. Since they were cutting so many roles for the sake of time, that meant that the roles remaining were even more important.

Hajime seemed surprised, Tooru hoped it was a  _ pleasant _ surprise. “You really wrote me in for Fiyero?”

“Of course! But my vote comes at a high cost. You’ll have to sing for me.”

“Much too high a cost,” Hajime muttered, smirking.

Mattsun was laughing, beside himself with giddiness. “Oh my god, is Iwaizumi  _ smiling?” _

Tooru had been investing too much of his attention to his lunchbox that his head snapped to his Best Friend beside him. It was the smile Hajime wore when he was humoring Tooru’s wishes and it was probably Tooru’s most favorite smile because it meant Hajime would agree with almost anything he said.

“What song?” Hajime asked, and Tooru was  _ reeling. _

Obviously  [ _ Defying Gravity _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXzFOHrycHg) _ , _ but the club room wasn’t well insulated and they’d gotten in trouble for being too loud before.  [ _ Dancing Through Life _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNA3RTvFH6E) was too long and took forever to get warmed up.  [ _ For Good _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvWfHIo5-kU&list=RDAvWfHIo5-kU&t=57) was Hajime’s favorite song, but guaranteed to make Tooru cry, couldn’t have that.  [ _ Popular _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x6VTnjGHjU) would definitely make Hajime uncomfortable and make lots of funny faces. But, while they were on the topic of Tooru in a ball gown…

“ [ _ I’m Not That Girl _ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ly_9rmOE-L8) _ ,” _ Tooru replied with a smile. Mostly for laughs. It would be funny to hear Hajime sing a song from the outspoken, wistful perspective of a girl. Haha. Funny.

“The first one or the  [ reprise ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Gyg9Ybldr8) ?”

Tooru hoped his face wasn’t as bright, iron-hot red as it felt. The reprise directly led into what was probably  [ the sexiest song on the entire album ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taK-aveyYJg) , and Tooru didn’t exactly want to give himself away just yet. “The first one, it’s better,” he fibbed. Maybe someday he’d be brave enough to ask Hajime to sing the reprise to him, but for now it seemed best to feign nonchalance.

Hajime’s eyes glanced up towards the right, his mind thinking fast to remember the lyrics and the music. He wasn’t really going to–

_ “Hands touch– Eyes meet– Sudden silence– Sudden heat…” _

Tooru had screwed up. It didn’t matter  _ what _ song Hajime sang, it was always going to be unfathomably attractive. Tooru had only really heard him sing once, at a karaoke night when their friends had stepped out of the room for a moment, and he was only brave enough to sing alone. The rest, a few times when he eavesdropped on Hajime taking a shower after practices. It was usually just a dull hum, melodic and pleasant, but nothing solid. This, though. Hajime’s true voice, not blown out by a speaker or lost behind running water. It was warm, a bit of a rough croak to it that made it more alive and substantial.

The rice in Makki’s chopsticks fell back into his lunchbox. Mattsun’s mouth was agape. Hajime was smirking at the reaction, trying to keep his voice steady and not laughing, as he continued to stare towards the wall and avoid eye contact with his friends.

_ “Hearts leap in a giddy whirl– He could be that boy– But I'm not that girl…” _

He moved onto the second verse, a little louder and a little more bravado. Tooru was stunned, but in theory it wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to seeing on the court. When Hajime was good at something, he liked to show off. He didn’t necessarily do it for adulation or recognition, but just to test his limits and know he could.

_ “Don’t dream too far– Don’t lose sight of who you are– Don’t remember that rush of joy– He could that boy, I’m not that girl…” _

The bridge was Tooru’s favorite part of that song. Painfully familiar yet beautiful.

_ “Every so often we long to steal– To the land of what-might-have-been– But that doesn't soften the ache we feel– When reality sets back in…” _

Unless his eyes were deceiving him, was Hajime… acting? He looked genuinely sad singing that verse, and the emotion in his eyes reflected in his voice, becoming soft and wistful. Tooru wanted to regret his song choice but couldn’t bring himself to actually believe himself, couldn’t bear to tell Hajime to stop.

_ “Blithe smile, lithe limb– She who's winsome, she wins him– Gold hair with a gentle curl– That's the girl he chose, and heaven knows– I'm not that girl…” _

Up until that point, it was as if Hajime was in trance, just staring at the wall and singing this song that he knew by heart beautifully. He glanced to Tooru, then turned his eyes to the others when Tooru whispered, “Keep going.”

_ “Don't wish, don't start– Wishing only wounds the heart– I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl– There's a girl I know, he loves her so– I'm not that girl…” _

Hajime finished the song with a deep breath, then his face broke into a laugh and he tried to hide his face behind his hands. Makki and Mattsun dove in, tackling Hajime to the ground and collectively shouting, “That was amazing! Oh my god!! Holy shit??”

Tooru wanted to bust open the door and shout to the entire school that  _ his Best Friend, Iwaizumi Hajime, is the most talented, most flawless, most perfect specimen of man in all of Miyagi and Oikawa Tooru is in love!!! _ But instead, he grabbed Hajime’s head and smothered his hands through his hair, like some sort of payback for holding out on him this whole time. It’s just as well. Tooru didn’t have the words to describe how perfect Hajime was anyway…

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

Kikuta stood at the doorway to the Class Six classroom. “Tsubaki-san, do you have the ballots?”

The class rep handed off a manilla folder, stuffed with her class’ votes for the play. Kikuta took a moment to flip through them to make sure everything was in order before sparing a glance across the room. “Is Oikawa-san around?” She hadn’t seen Iwaizumi in the Class Five room either and wanted to talk to them about their audition.

Ikeda Keiko was sitting nearby, eating lunch with her friends in class. She raised her hand to get Kikuta’s attention. “He usually eats on the roof with other boys from the volleyball club, but they’ll probably be in the clubroom today.”

Kikuta’s soul grimaced. The gymnasium and sports clubrooms were on the opposite side of the school as the auditorium, but she had already collected all the ballots and the lunch break was still young. She thanked Ikeda and Tsubaki, then started her walk towards the clubrooms. The sports side of the school was foreign territory to her, but most of the rooms were vacant during the school day. Thankfully, all she had to do was follow her ears.

There was a loud ruckus coming from one of the rooms on the second floor. She ascended, naturally light on her feet, and moved down the cement walkway towards the noise. Oikawa’s distinctive laugh was amongst them.

_ “Of course! But my vote comes at a high cost. You’ll have to sing for me.” _

_ “Haha! Oh my god, is Iwaizumi smiling?” _

Kikuta had her hand poised to knock, but paused. What were they talking about? The play, it had to be the play. She glanced around to make sure she wasn’t making a fool of herself, but the door to the clubroom was mostly obscured from classroom windows. She carefully placed her ear against the door to hear better.

_ “What song?” _

That was definitely Iwaizumi.

_ “I’m Not That Girl.” _

That was definitely Oikawa.

There was a short pause, and Kikuta kept waiting for Iwaizumi to bite back or refuse – it was a pretty feminine song, and someone like Iwaizumi didn’t exactly fit the profile – but instead the sound of his voice filled the space around them. It was like there was no door between them at all, his voice carried so well. The song in itself is a low song, handled well with Iwaizumi’s baritone levels. Kikuta was curious what his true range was. Meanwhile, she felt like melting into the door, his voice was so smooth and warm.

When he finished, his friends started shouting and the sounds of bodies being tackled to the floor could be heard down the hall.

“VOLLEYBALL! SHUT UP!” one of the rooms below yelled like this happened on the regular, their words echoing and the boys quieted the laughter immediately.

Kikuta stood up quickly, worried that they would open the door and notice her. She had originally visited to ask Oikawa questions about the seriousness of their audition, but what she just heard eased her concerns. She carried the ballots back to the auditorium with confidence.

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

Tooru and Hajime hadn’t thought to arrive at school early Thursday morning. Even though they arrived earlier than normal on a morning without practice, the front courtyard was clustered with students in their school jackets, talking animatedly despite the soft autumn chill.

“What the-?” Hajime muttered, noticing how weird this was as well.

They walked further into the courtyard, to the side with the shoe lockers, when Tooru noticed something odd. A lot of the clusters seemed to be looking at them specifically. Not that Tooru was unused to the attention, but… even this was a little much. He moved to huddle closer to Hajime, but noticed he was already several steps ahead, bypassing the shoe lockers completely and heading straight for the eastern wing of the school where there were even more students than usual.

“Iwa-chan…” he whimpered. “Where’re you going?”

“They said they were going to post the cast list today,” he said, making a beeline for the auditorium. It was like parting of the sea the way students dodged out of their way. Tooru followed, briefly led the march, was passed by Hajime, and before they knew it they were neck-and-neck sprinting towards the auditorium.

_ “WALK!” _ they heard a teacher scream, but by that point the auditorium was in sight and the way students were whispering and pointing at them only added to Tooru’s haste. The crowd around the bulletin board outside was huge, but as soon as students noticed them, they were quick to dodge out of the way.

It was a single, standard sheet of paper stapled to the upcoming events section, locked under a plate of glass. They both scanned over the page quickly.

Aoba Johsai Arts Festival Presents:   
**_Wicked_ **   
Produced by the Aoba Johsai Third Year Class of 20XX, the Aoba Johsai Theatre Club, and generous donations from the Aoba Johsai Theatre Club Alumni

Cast:

Chorus   
**Watanabe Sarada** ****  
**Nakamura Atsuko** ****  
**Ito Mamiko** ****  
**Yamamoto Kagumi** ****  
**Sato Tadafumi** **  
** **Suzuki Tetsuya**

Madame Morrible   
**Takano Rei**

The Wizard   
**Amano Hikaru**

Fiyero   
**Ikeda Keiko**

Galinda   
**Oikawa Tooru**

Elphaba   
**Iwaizumi Hajime**

 


	2. You And Me (But Mostly Me)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. I knew it would be a while before the second chapter was posted, but I didn't realize it would be six months ;; Anybody still with me??
> 
> Hopefully it won't be as long a wait for chapter three. I'm still anticipating this to be four chapters long. I just finished chapter three earlier this week and it's with my beta right now. In the interest of transparency, I'm going on a big vacation in October so it probably won't be posted before then, but I'm hoping to have the story completely posted before its one-year anniversary in March! Wish me luck!

**_CHAPTER TWO  
_ **

You And Me _(But Mostly Me)_

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

So quit singing about it, and do it!  
How ready and psyched are we?   
Life is about to change for you   
And life is about to change for me   
And life is about to change for you and me -

But me, mostly!

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

Another thing Tooru had to be honest about, he wasn’t _really_ looking at the casting sheet when Hajime found out. He stopped reading at ‘Fiyero’ when the kanji underneath didn’t match his best friend’s name. He watched as Hajime’s face went from disappointed, to confused, to horrified.

Hajime turned towards Tooru, frown creased into his features so solidly, and said, “Oh, _no.”_

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

Tooru knew that Hajime had a decent singing voice, but there was a difference between decent and like, really _really_ good. Surpassing ‘pleasant surprise’ good and more towards ‘attention-grabbing’ good. He remembered Hajime being in the children’s choir, but once he had successfully pulled him into volleyball, it had more-or-less become a distant memory.

There had been opportunities for Hajime to show off. Tooru recalled at least four very distinct occasions where he had invited Hajime to karaoke with their friends in middle school and he had outright declined. Tooru tried to grasp at a reason _why._

The very few times Hajime showed his face in a karaoke room, he usually just ordered food and laughed at Tooru when he made an ass out of himself (more often than not, Tooru insisted although the memories were foggy, these moments were all on _purpose_ to make Hajime laugh and not incidental).

But there was one time, near the end of their first year of high school, their new friend Hanamaki invited his volleyball club pals to karaoke for his birthday in late January. It had snowed really badly that morning, and Hajime wouldn't have gone if it weren’t for Tooru’s insistence.

_“Makki said the party’s still on, it would be rude not to go!”_ Tooru said, having shown up at Hajime’s doorstep in nice clothes hidden under a long down-insulated winter coat while his best friend was still in his sweatpants and an ugly old thick sweater. RSVPs were dropping like flies, and Makki had even said it was futile and he should just reschedule, but Tooru persisted.

In the end, it took all of ten minutes for Hajime to get changed, and luckily the trains were only running on a _slight_ delay that they managed to arrive to the karaoke place on time. Unfortunately, the only other person who made it out of the dozens who RSVP’d was Matsukawa.

_“I live nearby,”_ he said with a simple shrug. It was just as well. From all the first years in the volleyball club, Tooru thought he liked Makki and Mattsun best. Makki returned from checking in with the staff at the front desk.

_“Well, we’re like the only people here, so they let me change my reservation from the large room to the smaller one.”_

Tooru wrapped his arms around the two other boys’ necks. _“Then let’s get started! I wanna sing the new Red Velvet song!”_

So they ate snacks and drank fancy sodas, and while Tooru was sure this wasn’t how Makki expected to spend his birthday, he spared no effort in making sure he had the most fun possible. After about two solid hours of singing, Makki headed towards the door of their private room, cracking up from a joke Mattsun had made. _“Okay guys, I gotta take a piss, I’ll be right back.”_

As soon as the door shut, Mattsun turned to them. _“You’re still down for splitting the room cost right? For Makki’s birthday? It’s going to be a little expensive since more people didn’t show up…”_

_“Of course that’s okay,”_ Tooru had insisted. Hajime had already started digging through his bag for his wallet and soon Mattsun was walking out the door with several bills.

The room was left painfully quiet with their two friends gone and no music playing. A disco ball hung awkwardly overhead, splashing the small space in chaotic flashes of bright color. Suddenly Tooru became aware of how awkward it was with Hajime beside him, arms pressed together in the small booth with a table cluttered with empty plates and glasses.

_“You know, it’s a shame that you got all dressed up and came out and didn’t even sing one song,”_ Tooru said, picking up the tablet and scrolling through a list of Top 40s, mindlessly queuing songs for his next performances once their friends returned.

_“I’d sing if there was something worth singing,”_ Hajime said, sparing no venom in his voice while glaring at the list Tooru held. Regardless, Tooru was slogging chest-deep through his infatuation with his best friend that by this point he found his pouting cute.

_“Just because we like to sing relevant music,”_ – Hajime frowned at this. – _“doesn’t mean that’s the only music they have, Iwa-chan you fuddy-duddy.”_ He scrolled through other genre options. _“Look. There’s classic rock, and- ooh! Golden oldies! And… see, there’s even musicals.”_ He opened up the list and scrolled through the songs. _“It’s been awhile since you’ve last seen one, hasn’t it?”_

He glanced over for an answer, and was surprised to see that Hajime was actually interested in the list that Tooru had found.

_“They have Phantom,”_ Hajime said.

As far as Tooru was aware, Hajime had never held a karaoke tablet before, but he took the device from Tooru’s hand and queued up a song. It started playing immediately and he picked up the microphone from where it rested on the table. The words _‘The Phantom of the Opera’_ appeared on the screen and a pre-recorded audience applauded and cheered.

Tooru didn’t know much about the story, other than it had something to do with a guy with a messed up face preying on some young starlet. His face paled when the music started and the text announced the song was actually a duet. Hajime passed the second microphone over.

_“Iwa-chan, I don’t know this one,”_ Tooru said, hoping that Hajime didn’t expect him to sing along. Hajime looked at him like he was daft.

_“My parents love this play, you’ve definitely heard it. Just give it a moment. You go first.”_

Of course Tooru wasn’t a stranger to karaoke but it was completely different when he didn’t even know the melody of the song. It had been a long time since he last paid attention to the music Mr. and Mrs. Iwaizumi played downstairs. The organ was… _unique_ but also somewhat familiar. He sang along off-key and attempted to match the pacing of the words flashing across the screen.

_“-And do I dream again– For now I find– The phantom of the opera is there– Inside my mind–”_

God, this song was creepy, and the booming pipe organ wasn’t helping.

_“Sing once again with me– Our strange duet– My power over you– Grows stronger yet– And though you turn from me– To glance behind– The phantom of the opera is there– Inside your mind–”_

Tooru was not a holy man, but god _damn._ He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be doing. Simply sitting here and watching Hajime sing in a crisp, powerful vibrato the likes of which he had never heard him produce before seemed like a disservice to this talent. Hajime didn’t have this when he sang as a kid in the children’s choir. What the _fuck?_

Hajime was looking at him expectantly, and when Tooru looked at the monitor he realized he missed his cue. Hajime held the microphone to his lips and sang, _“It’s me they hear–”_

This was supposed to be a duet, but Tooru was too shell-shocked to continue. It didn’t really matter, because a moment later Hanamaki and Matsukawa came back into the room together.

_“Hey guys. What’d we miss?”_ Hanamaki asked.

Matsukawa looked to the monitor and saw the lyrics cross the screen, _‘My spirit and your voice in one combined–’_ He wrinkled his nose before walking back to his spot at the booth. _“Oikawa, why’d you pick something like this out? You guys are gross.”_

Hajime froze up and sat down awkwardly back in his spot. Tooru still couldn’t get the sound of his amazing voice out of his mind. He sat in his seat, utterly confused and mouth agape. “ _Iwa-chan, what the fuck.”_

Hajime clammed up, his face an absolutely atomic shade of red. He reached for the remote and smashed the ‘cancel’ button repeatedly until the music stopped. _“What? No! Why’d you stop?”_ Hanamaki cried.

Matsukawa was better at reading the room, was better at understanding body language and saw the tip of the iceberg of what was going on between Tooru and Hajime. _“Wait… Did Iwaizumi pick that song out?”_

Tooru didn’t believe the proper vocabulary existed in any language known the man that could properly communicate the phenomenon that just occurred. Luckily, stalwart as always, Hajime regained his level head and crossed his arms. _“Sorry, you have to be at least a level 4 friend to unlock that cutscene.”_

_“Kentucky-Fried Bullshit, after helping you with receives for two solid months, I’m a level 6 friend at least!”_

It was a joke, but Tooru tried to keep the palpitations down to a dull roar at the thought that Hajime was only comfortable showing that side of himself to his best friend. After that point, Tooru continued to try and convince Hajime to go out to karaoke with some other classmates or the team, but he always refused. Even when they were alone, he refused. Tooru just thought he was shy, but…

…If Hajime was willing to sing in front of the entire school, then maybe he was _wrong._

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

The theatre club clubroom wasn’t so much as a room as it was a curtained off section down a hallway that led away from the backstage area of the auditorium. It could fit maybe about twelve students around the large table in the center, but the space was mostly used as a closet for old props and costumes stored in cardboard boxes on cheap wire shelving against all four walls. It was fairly claustrophobic, but rumor had it this was Kikuta’s second home.

She sat at a old plastic collapsible table on a folding chair, the one farthest from the door, with Hajime and Tooru standing on the opposite end.

“This is too much. I wasn’t auditioning for Elphaba, I was auditioning for Fiyero,” Hajime said sternly. Kikuta had never been particularly intimidated by any of the boys at their school, so his intense nature didn’t have much of an effect on her.

In her hands, she had a copy of the rough draft for the abridged version of the play that she had been reviewing during her lunch break. “Iwaizumi-san, I think you would be good for the role of Elphaba. Despite popular vote, you have talent. It would be foolish not to cast you for the role your talents are best suited for.”

“What was the popular vote, then?” he asked.

“You for Fiyero,” she answered bluntly. “Ikeda-san for Elphaba.” Kikuta shifted her eyes over to Tooru, with little remorse. “Still Galinda for you.”

Tooru scoffed, presumably insulted that he wasn’t voted for Fiyero. That was somewhat intriguing about Oikawa’s base behavior, Kikuta thought. He acted haughty, but he was… _humorous_ about it. Everyone saw the perfect casting except for himself.

Hajime looked pained. “Then… _why?”_

Kikuta sighed, standing up and taking her copy of the script with her. She rounded the table to approach them. “Ikeda-san is a member of the Go Home Club. She can sing, but she never joined choir. She can dance, but she never joined any sort of club or outside group to take advantage of that. She has no experience, and you expect her to pull a show like this? You know how important Elphaba’s role is, Iwaizumi-san.”

“And, what? Like _I_ have that experience?”

“You have experience being a public face amongst your peers, and have managed amazingly without getting nervous.”

Hajime needed more convincing. “You wouldn’t think that if you saw our last game…”

Oikawa looked over at his friend, seeming worried and unsure how to reply. Kikuta felt a twinge of guilt, as Oikawa opened his mouth to soothe things over, but she had already started speaking.

“Oh, Iwaizumi-san… _everybody_ saw your last game. But nobody thinks anything less than the absolute highest of you.”

She paused waiting to see if Tooru would like to add anything, but he simply placed his hand on Hajime’s shoulder and squeezed.

“And on top of that, you have a very beautiful singing voice, Iwaizumi-san. You know the plot, you know the characters, you know the lyrics…” She bent down, giving him a stiff and proper bow. “Please, _please_ be our Elphaba.”

At least Hajime looked like he would consider it. He turned towards his friend. “But what about Oikawa?”

Tooru took a commanding step forward. These boys were both so _tall_. She’d have to talk to Yazawa about costume design, they probably wouldn’t be able to get away with recycling old outfits this time around.

“I didn’t audition on purpose, I was just doing it to tease Iwa-chan,” Tooru answered bluntly. Hajime looked like he was going to punch Tooru in the back of the head. “I can’t accept the part if there’s somebody out there more qualified than me.”

That was a huge admittance for Tooru. She had always pinned him as the type to jump head-first into ridiculous challenges as long as somebody thought he _couldn’t_ do it. Apparently, he had more consideration for his surroundings than she had initially believed.

“I’m not going to lie, Oikawa-san, it will be a challenge. To be honest, I’m glad that the popular vote turned out this way because Yazawa-chan and myself were rooting for you to play our Galinda. She’s headstrong, beautiful, a little bit manipulative. She reminds me of you.”

Hajime turned suddenly to disguise a laugh as a cough. Tooru took a moment to decide if he was going to attack him or agree with her.

“However, if you need to drop out because you have a prior engagement, I understand and I’ll update the casting list immediately.”

“No, it wasn’t that…”

“And, while we’re still being honest…” She placed both her hands on their shoulders, almost having to stand on her tiptoes to do so, and looked them sternly in the eyes. “…It’s just a shitty class play for fun that nobody’s expecting to be taken seriously. It will only be two performances and it all be over in a day. If it turns out horribly, then it’ll be a character building exercise you carry with you into college. If it turns out great, it’ll be a riveting story you can tell your grandkids. Either way, I can guarantee you that you’ll have fun and create those powerful high school memories everyone always talks about at reunions.”

They looked at each other, holding an entire conversation in just a simple glance. The contact seemed to give Tooru motivation but only served to make Hajime more unsure. Kikuta observed them closely and tried to hold down the smile pulling at the corner of her lips.

“We’ll do it,” Tooru said.

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

After the initial shock of finding out the casting, the morning was a chaotic blur until Tooru suddenly found himself sitting at his desk with a sour taste in his mouth. He wasn’t entirely convinced that he was the right person for this role. There were _several_ other people who deserved it better, and not because he didn’t think it would be fun – he _did_ think it would fun – but it was like he'd won a trophy for baseball. _It didn’t compute._

He’d asked Ikeda about the casting decision, if she had seen them and what her thoughts were, but she was more shellshocked than anything. And she had welcomed Tooru’s new role with such enthusiasm that Tooru had a difficult time convincing _himself_ come lunchtime that he didn’t want this.

“This is important, Iwa-chan,” Tooru coached him on their way back to the classrooms. “Now that we’ve officially taken on these roles, we need to own up to them. If people ask questions about the production, say you don’t know yet, or you can’t say. It’ll add to the intrigue!”

“People can just look up the play online if they’re really curious about it,” Hajime replied coarsely. He was starting to seem a little distant, so Tooru wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close.

“Iwa-chan! Our roles have very significant weight! It’s important that we, as the Number One and Number Twenty-Eight Most Popular Boys in School, don’t disappoint our fellow peers by putting forth a half-assed production!”

“I still don’t understand why you’re so gung-ho about this. You can’t even sing and you got cast as the character with the second-most songs.”

“So? You can’t act, so we have a lot to teach each other.”

_“You can’t act either!!”_

Tooru was distracted for a moment when a couple of cute third year girls from one of the lower classes passed by, waving at him and giggling. “Congratulations on being cast, Oikawa-kun! Are you excited?”

Honestly, Tooru loved it when the girls asked questions about him. He loved that any vapid response he gave was enough to make them ooh and aah. The flattery was addicting. He detached himself from Hajime and gave them his full attention. “It’s an honor! I can only hope to do it justice!” he answered, in an evening news-sized soundbite. Other girls passing by got reeled in, heaping on the praise and asking if he was nervous.

“Can you sing for us, Oikawa-san?” a first-year boldly asked, her eyes wide and cheeks flushed.

“I can’t ruin the big reveal! You’ll just have to come see our shows during the Arts Festival,” he said, with a wink and a giggle.

“Awww,” the crowd replied, disappointed.

“Now, now… You’ll never guess who’s actually one of the best singers in Seijoh! My very own–” He turned around to show off Hajime, but he was nowhere to be seen. Instead, a group of girls he hadn’t noticed congregating behind him took his place. Tooru couldn’t even see Hajime's spiky head of hair bobbing in the hallway. He must have… gone back to class or something… “Um- Sorry, sorry! You’ll just have to check out the play for yourselves! I promise something special you’ll never forget~!”

He tried to ignore their collective whine as he backed away and scurried to the Third Year hall, Class Five, but Hajime wasn’t there either. He eventually found him settled in the Class Three room with Makki and Mattsun, opening his lunch.

“Rude, Iwa-chan. How are we supposed to promote the play if you go running off whenever it’s brought up!”

They had only seen Mattsun and Makki briefly in the halls after finding out about the casting, and their entire time together was filled with their uproarious laughter to the point where several teachers stuck their heads out of classrooms and told them to shut it. They both sported pinched smirks as Tooru pulled up a chair and shared a desk with Hajime.

“If you make me sing in the middle of the hallway, I’m just gonna punch you. It’s up to you,” Hajime responded sternly as he situated his chopsticks in his hands and started pecking away at his lunch. The meeting with Kikuta left them with little time to eat, so Tooru followed and placed his lunchbox next to Hajime’s.

“So I take it y’all didn’t decline the casting decision,” Makki asked, his chin resting on laced fingers with a little too much glee in his eyes.

Hajime spoke up immediately, a speck of rice on the edge of his lip. “Don’t look at me like that. It’s all this dumbass’ choice.”

Tooru wanted to be insulted. He wanted to whine about Hajime being rude again and lecture on how to be a better person. He also wanted to pick the grain of rice on his lips. Better yet, kiss it off. With a defeated frown, he turned his attention back to mindlessly poking the pork sausage links his dad had put in his lunchbox.

“I think it’ll be fun,” he replied, without his usual heat. Usually his friends were perceptive enough to not rile him up when he got introspective like this.

“You’ll do great, guys,” Mattsun said, at least trying to be kind about this, Tooru admitted, incredibly laughable situation that he agreed to. “It’ll be… interesting, at least.”

After school, Tooru and Hajime took their usual route home, Tooru filling the conversation with something stupid his history teacher had said, before Hajime interrupted. “Hey, you wanna come over today?”

“Sure,” Tooru said without pause.

Normally when Tooru visits Hajime’s house, it’s a quick hello to his parents downstairs before heading up to Hajime’s tidy bedroom. It looked exactly the same as always when they entered. Hajime took the folded sitting table leaning against the wall and opened it in the middle of the carpet. Tooru figured they were going to do schoolwork and began to get situated, moving on autopilot.

“Do you have homework or studying you need to do?” Hajime asked, moving his laptop from his desk to the table. He was starting to move his pillows from his nicely made bed to the floor, usually signaling they were going to watch a movie. Most of the time they watched movies at Tooru’s house since his den had the bigger TV. It had been a while since they watched something on Hajime’s computer. Not that Tooru was complaining, because the speakers on his laptop sucked and it meant sharing headphones with Hajime which also meant sitting closeby instead of on opposite sides of his parents' oversized couch.

“Nothing that can’t wait,” Tooru said. There was _always_ a reading assignment and _always_ studying he could be doing, but after the hectic day he’d had, being asked during every passing period about the casting and relentless questions about the play, he was more than ready to chill with Hajime. “What are we watching?”

Hajime pulled a DVD case from his desk. There was a small stack there, like he had watched them recently. The case showed off the art of a very bootleg looking image of a woman’s head with bright, curly blonde hair wearing a crystalline tiara photoshopped next to another woman’s head with heaps of green paint wearing a witch’s hat. At the top, in English, was the logo for _Wicked_ that Tooru had become very familiar with over the past few days.

“My parents have a recording of the original Broadway cast performance. The same cast that sang on the CD I let you borrow.”

“American?” Tooru asked, taking the DVD for a moment and flipping it around. Thankfully the back was printed in Japanese, and described the feature as a recording of the play from several years ago. There were Japanese subtitles.

“We also have a recording of the Japanese version, but I feel like it’s best to watch the original first, so you know what you’re up against.”

That’s right. Tooru kept somehow forgetting that this was going to be more than going up onstage and giving a speech, like he did during the club introduction assembly earlier in the school year. This would require a level of memorization worse than any vocabulary quiz, rehearsing blocking and possibly _dancing,_ costume changes and makeup, and all in front of a _live audience._ Tooru might feel embarrassed botching a killer serve in the middle of an important match, but it seemed to pale in comparison to forgetting a line in front of a crowd waiting to criticize his every move. How would the school react if they discovered the great Oikawa Tooru _wasn’t good at something??_

Hajime snatched the DVD case out of his hands and popped the disc into the laptop. “C’mon,” he said, patting the floor cushion beside him. The main menu was the same shitty photoshop as the cover with only one option: _Play._

The only headphones either of them owned were small earbuds. Hajime stuck his into his laptop’s lone earphone jack while Tooru stuck one bud in his right ear and Hajime placed the other in his left, sure to set the speaker settings to ‘mono.’ The camera looked a little blurry and focused on a large stage with closed curtains. Tooru could barely make out a few pixels at the base of the stage – the conductor gently waving his baton at the orchestra hidden in a pit below. The music Tooru recognized from the first track of the CDs Hajime let him borrow filled his mind as the curtains were drawn to a familiar green city of Oz backdrop and the chorus dancing about.

“You haven’t seen the play yet. There’s a lot missed if you just listen to the soundtrack and read wikis. This will sort-of give you an idea of what we signed up for.”

The camera setting was a little dry. It seemed to be set on a tripod and would show the entire stage for the whole recording. Tooru noticed the first few rows of the audience seating seemed empty. Perhaps this was a dress rehearsal? Or maybe this was like recording a volleyball game, something for the cast to watch and observe their mistakes they would have missed otherwise.

Suddenly, a large ring with a woman standing on it was lowered from the ceiling. She was wearing an impressively large poofy periwinkle ball gown and started singing operatically. Tooru hesitated as he listened, the sound surprisingly crystal-clear. This was obviously Galinda and this was obviously something that would be expected of him once rehearsals started. Tooru’s voice couldn’t do _that._

“That’s Kristin Chenoweth, the girl who played Galinda in the soundtrack,” Hajime supplied. He couldn’t understand a thing she was singing, but thankfully subtitles across the bottom helped him keep up. Her pitch got so _high._ Tooru had wondered if maybe there had been some sort of assistance in the recording studio to make her reach those notes but apparently that was a _real sound_ that the human body could produce and it was frightening.

Tooru stopped breathing for a moment when he felt Hajime’s hand on his chest. Suddenly, he was pushed back until his spine rested against the side of Hajime’s bed again. Tooru hadn’t realized it, but he had started leaning in like he did when he hyper-analyzed volleyball footage.

“Relax,” Hajime said. He was smiling regardless, at least, Tooru could see a small quirk in the corner of his lip that meant Hajime was enjoying Tooru’s enthusiastic response. “This is your first time watching, so just enjoy it.”

So Tooru relaxed his back muscles and let himself be taken in by the drama and the humor of two young witches trying to find their places in a very unfair world. Tooru couldn’t help but be a little worried every time Galinda had a starring moment. It just served to remind him how difficult the following months would be leading up to the performance. But seeing Elphaba actually perform _Defying Gravity_ still gave him chills. He was confused when the curtains closed.

“What? That’s it?” That couldn't be it. There were still several more songs on the soundtrack.

“No, dumbass, it’s intermission. Most plays have them. It gives the audience a chance to use the bathroom and stuff. A lot of the time these plays can be over three hours long.” Hajime muttered something about the DVD version skipping over the intermission, so he paused it so they could also take a break.

“Eh?” Tooru checked his phone and, sure enough, nearly two hours had passed and he had missed a text from his mom asking about dinner. “Wow, time flies.” He shot back a quick text saying he was at Iwa-chan’s and would be home before seven.

“You’re enjoying it, though?” Hajime asked, twisting his back and popping it in several places before leaning back.

“Yeah, more than I expected…” He felt like he had a pretty good idea where the story was going, especially after listening to the soundtrack, but he still wanted to continue with it as quickly as possible.

“Well, let’s keep going, then, so you can be home for dinner,” Hajime said, reading Tooru’s mind, and unpausing the DVD to continue at the start of Act II.

Tooru settled back, making himself even more at home as the chorus sang about how terrifying Elphaba was before the break. The pause at intermission had distracted Tooru a little bit. He started observing little things while Hajime was paying attention to the play, like how their elbows were a mere two centimeters apart, and their feet scant millimeters. All Tooru would have to do was pretend the stretch, maybe adjust his seat slightly and he’d be able to bask in Hajime’s natural warmth that he could already feel radiating off him from sheer proximi–

“This part’s good, coming up,” Hajime noted. He’d lifted his left arm to gesture towards the screen, but when he lowered it back down… he brushed his arm against Tooru’s and didn’t pull away!!

Tooru was so ecstatic that he wasn’t concentrating on the play at all, rather trying his damndest to regulate his breathing so Hajime wouldn’t think he was having a heart attack. It took Tooru a moment to realize what exactly it was he was watching. It was… _I’m Not That Girl_ , but this time the reprise sung by Galinda, and it faded to a sultry number with Fiyero and Elphaba. They were sitting on the stage, in each other's arms, singing passionately in the thralls of a scorching forbidden romance.

“This scene’s a lot more intense than I pictured…” Tooru admitted. He shifted, just slightly. Just enough to be a little more pressed into Hajime’s side. Slouched just enough that, if he wanted to, he could lean his head to the side and it would be resting on Hajime’s shoulder. Hajime seemed to notice this and glanced his way.

“Are you getting tired? We can finish this some other time.”

Too damn considerate. “No! I’m good. It’s almost done anyway…”

Hajime shifted far to his right so they were no longer touching. Ah, well, that was to be expected. Maybe Hajime was just trying to set a boundary, telling Tooru that touching like that was fine when it was casual and at school, but maybe not in his bedroom with the door’s clo–

HAJIME RESTED HIS ARM ON THE BACK OF THE BED. He rested his _left_ arm on the back of the bed behind Tooru and any hope Tooru had of actually focusing on the play flew out the window, along with his basic motor functions too, judging by his complete and utter inability to sit still. Tooru took a deep breath.

_You’re trying to be an actor, now. Act._ His inner voice screamed at him to get his shit together, so he exhaled, loosened his muscles, and acted like Hajime liked him back. _Pretend you’re already together. Act like this is a date. Work on your improv skills._ He leaned to the right those few precious centimeters and let his head rest on Hajime’s shoulder.

And Hajime didn’t even move. Tooru didn’t feel a single muscle go taut with nerves. No shaky breaths. Not even so much as a blink. Tooru couldn't remember the last time he'd leaned on Hajime like this outside of volleyball club. He had a distinct memory of Hajime allowing him to rest his feet on his lap while they were watching movies together in middle school, but not much else. This was stupid. He was an idiot for trying to go this far. It felt like some sort of weird betrayal. Hajime _trusted_ Tooru not to get attached with weird gross _feelings._ Hajime deserved to be able to casually hang out with a Best Friend who wasn’t constantly wanting to make out with him. It wasn’t fair to Hajime for Tooru to be this forward, because then Hajime would feel obligated to respond (and as much as Tooru enjoyed the attention that confessions gave him, coming up with responses were the worst, he wouldn’t wish that on anybody). He would be better off sitting up straight and putting a little distance between them…

Until Hajime settled in even closer. Tooru was gonna blow a fuse at this rate. “We’re almost at the end,” he was practically whispering into Tooru’s ear. “I like this part a lot.”

The music was leading into _For Good,_ and Tooru thought it would behoove him to at least try to pay attention. He’d have to ask Hajime if he could borrow the DVD so he could actually learn something from it rather than freak out about his close proximity to a boy who  had been by his side since they learned to walk. The scent of seawater deodorant had never smelled so heavenly.

Just like that, the song was nearly halfway over and Tooru was not focusing at all. From the very corner of his eye, he could see a small smile on Hajime’s face as he watched on undeterred. Suddenly he was too close to monitor, tilting his head just slightly and resting his temple on the crown of Tooru’s head. Tooru held his breath to stay as still as possible, like the time he and Hajime came across a wild doe in a nearby park and tried to lure it closer with a handful of trail mix.

Elphaba was singing something about ships on the sea, part of the refrain with Galinda where they overlapped, when suddenly a steady vibration gently shook Tooru’s head. Hajime had started humming along softly. He’d never done this before, but then again, the movies and shows they watched together were never exactly musicals… This was completely unprecedented! Tooru was too busy debating if he should hum along as practice or not. He wasn’t as familiar with the song as Hajime was.

“Sorry, was that bothering you?”

Tooru jerked his head up so he could look at Hajime better, and immediately regretted his decision as Hajime shifted away so they were no longer pressed against each other. The temperature seemed frigid in comparison. Hajime would have to swap out his usual study table for a kotatsu before too long.

“No, it was fine! Great, actually, I just– I, uh…” It wasn’t that Tooru was purposefully shoving his own foot in his mouth, but he was definitely giving it the ol’ college try. “I was trying to remember the words… So I could sing along too…”

Hajime was just staring at him, letting the play continue on. His piercing stare wasn’t the same as the glare Tooru regularly received when he made an ass out of himself in public. It was something a bit more analytical, the kind when Hajime was reading a book for class and had to concentrate.

It was difficult not to get flustered under such a look. _“…What?!”_

“Nothing. Just… you’re not used to being bad at something, and it’s funny.”

“Wow _rude._ We don’t know I’m bad at anything yet if I’ve never really tried before. Who knows, maybe _this_ is the thing I’m a genius at.”

The only thing that Hajime could do in response was bring his arm back to his side, in the process mussing up Tooru’s hair beyond recognition. Lucky for Hajime, the only person Tooru had to impress between here and his own home was Yoshikawa-san across the street who liked to sit on a folding chair and chat with passers-by, and she was so old her prescription glasses were as thick as aquarium glass.

“Oh, shit, wait, this part’s good too…” Hajime turned their attention back to the screen. It really was a good performance, it was just a shame that Hajime was a better distraction. There was a woman, a member of the chorus, presumably, dressed like the Dorothy that Tooru was familiar with from the movie. Elphaba was doused with water and started melting. “I think we missed the part where they explain it’s a trick. Galinda helps Elphaba and Fiyero escape Oz.”

“So the Wicked Witch is still alive after Dorothy leaves?”

“As far as they play’s concerned, yeah. We can assume Elphaba and Fiyero stay together forever in hiding, or something. Shh, this is the end.”

It was a familiar scene, with the chorus singing a similar song from the beginning, only infinitely more melancholy. Galinda was being lifted up on her magic bubble rig towards the ceiling of the stage. Elphaba peeked out from the bottom corner, hidden from crowd but to show she was okay after getting the water flung at her and running away.

_“Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better, but– Because I knew you, I have been cha~anged–”_

As the chorus sang them out, Hajime’s door flung open so suddenly that Tooru flinched away from him, making the earbud in his ear pop out and knocking a pathetic sound out of him as he fell off the floor cushion.

“Oh! Hi boys, I had no idea you were home. You’re usually so loud!” Hajime’s mom chuckled warmly. “Tooru, you stayin’ for dinner?”

Tooru checked the time on his phone with lightning speed. It was a few minutes past seven, his own mother was probably wondering the same thing. “No, ma’am. I actually need to be getting home.” He quickly stood and grabbed his backpack from beside Hajime’s bookshelf, giving Hajime a parting wave and a promise that he’d see him tomorrow morning bright and early for practice.

Hajime smiled as he said goodbye and Tooru swallowed down another heart attack.

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

The first table read of the script was the following Monday after classes. When Tooru and Hajime entered the theatre clubroom, the entire room fell silent for a moment

“Holy shit, it’s true,” whispered Takano Rei, their Madame Morrible from Class Three.

Tooru couldn’t help but be a little flustered at that. What? Did nobody _really_ believe he could do this? Did they doubt his talent or his commitment that easily? Regardless, Tooru told himself that he was an Actor and shouldn’t let himself be harmed by petty gossip.

“Good afternoon everyone!” he responded pleasantly, looping his school bag’s strap across the back of his chair closest to the head of the table. Hajime took the free seat beside him, next to Keiko-chan, and was already flipping through the draft of the script handed to them by Saito.

“Good afternoon!” Kikuta chirped back, happy to be getting straight down to business. “This is our first table read for Wicked, welcome. For anybody who’s never done this before-” Which was, admittedly, the entire cast. “-essentially what we’re going to be doing is a simple read through of the script. This does include the songs, but you don’t have to sing if you’re not comfortable. I know some of you don’t necessarily have a _voice_ yet, but that’s one of the purposes of these readings: to let you explore your characters and find out what works best for your acting style.”

_Thank god,_ Tooru sighed to himself. He had been allowed to read through the script, but until they cemented it, he wasn’t allowed to take it home and really study it. Kikuta had told him it would be pointless to memorize lines if they just ended up getting dropped later on. Another purpose of the table readings was to help estimate how long it would take to perform.

Along with the script were some papers with basic information, like the cast, crew, and song list. There was even a separate booklet for all the songs they would be performing, even written with sheet music. It was like a foreign language that Tooru couldn’t decipher. He read through the list of songs with a dawning sense of horror.

_No One Mourns The Wicked_ — Galinda  & Chorus   
_What Is This Feeling?_ — Galinda, Elphaba,  & Chorus   
_Dancing Through Life_ — Fiyero, Galinda, Elphaba,  & Chorus   
_Popular_ — Galinda   
_I’m Not That Girl_ — Elphaba   
_Defying Gravity_ — Elphaba, Galinda   
_Thank Goodness_ — Galinda, Madame Morrible   
_I’m Not That Girl (Reprise)_ — Haines   
_As Long As You’re Mine_ — Elphaba, Fiyero   
_For Good_ — Galinda, Elphaba   
_For Good (Reprise) —_ Galinda, Elphaba,  & Chorus

That was! This was–! Tooru had to count multiple times to make sure… There were eleven songs on this list and _Tooru was expected to sing in nine of them._

It seemed that Hajime noticed right away as well. “Hey. Remember when I told you that you’d have the second-most songs?” Tooru didn’t even have to look at him to know he was smirking. “I lied.”

One of the members of the chorus raised his hand. Kikuta pointed at him to speak. “Um. This is an awful lot of songs… Didn’t the school say we only had forty-five minutes?”

“That’s very astute, Suzuki-kun! Yes, the songs altogether add up to longer than the amount of time the school board has allotted us to use the stage. But–” Nervous whispers erupted from the room. Kikuta held up her hand to make everyone settle down. “But that’s what these table readings are for. We’re going to edit down the songs, sing them quicker, and remember this play is _abridged_. It’s not going to be three hours long.”

Tooru wasn’t entirely convinced that Kikuta could take a bunch of students who’d never attempted acting before and make this play a success. But like she'd said, it was only a play. Whether it was good or bad, it would be a fun story to tell later on. Tooru gulped down his nerves and began flipping through the script.

Kikuta continued, “Members of the chorus will trade out speaking roles between the two festival day performances. Roles for characters like Doctor Dillamond, Nessarose, and Boq are still going to have speaking parts, but they won’t be as important as they were in the original script. Any questions?”

Nessarose’s part had been downgraded to just a fellow outcast student that Elphaba took a shine to. Most of the side cast had completely moved to the background to focus the story on Galinda and Elphaba. The play seemed to be a loose interpretation, a tale of friendship between two witches while conveniently having Oz as its backdrop.

Hajime raised his hand. “About the pronouns…”

Kikuta nodded. “We’ve decided that the play, while abridged, will keep everything else intact. Which means that Elphaba and Galinda will still be women, and the Wizard and Fiyero will still be men even though they’re being played by people who identify differently. We’re working with Yazawa-san, our costume designer, to come up with new outfits so you won’t be wearing dresses. Unless you want to.”

Tooru’s face heated up as he glanced over to Hajime, who was already looking at him. Tooru had heard horror stories from other school’s plays where they made the boys dress up in women’s clothing for the sake of embarrassment and laughs. Tooru was sure, even if he played the role of Galinda completely serious, that the sight of him in an actual ball gown would ruin the theme of the play.

“I’m okay with playing a woman,” Hajime said. “But I agree, wearing women’s clothing might distract the audience from the story. I really like this one and want them to be focused.” Tooru relaxed and agreed wholeheartedly.

She nodded and waited for anybody else to comment. Nobody spoke up so she gestured to Saito, who reached his arm over to a small desk that had a CD player on and waiting.

“The music in the play had to be purchased by the alumni committee. This CD is… sort of a karaoke version of the entire soundtrack, sold explicitly for theatre purposes,” Saito explained. He pressed the ‘play’ button and the orchestra music started.

“Once again,” Kikuta added quickly, “You’re not expected to sing this time around, just read the lines. Watch for my cues.”

At this point she was talking directly to Tooru, and he felt his face heat up at that. He didn’t want to be the most babied person here. She directed her attention to a group of students in the back of the table, the chorus.

_“Good news!– She’s dead!–”_ Even though Kikuta had stressed how they didn’t need to sing, the chorus sang along anyways. It was difficult not to, with the backing music playing. But Tooru could tell they weren’t trying their best. Some were just muttering along. Kikuta raised her hand and gestured to one of the students. _“Look! It’s Glinda!”_

Kikuta turned to Tooru and prompted him.

_This is it,_ Tooru sighed. _You’re acting. You don’t like these Ozians. They wanted your best friend dead. But you have to pretend to be happy to save face._ Thankfully, Tooru’s career in high school athletics made him an easy target for interviews and to that effect, incredibly skilled at art of avoiding humiliation with a kind smile and a tempered voice.

_“Fellow Ozians– Let us be glad– Let us be grateful!– Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue– the wicked workings of you-know-who–”_ Tooru was purely speaking along. He couldn’t reach the high pitches that song was supposed to have. Hajime nudged his elbow into Tooru’s side, and he laughed a little at the start of the following lines. _“Isn’t it nice to know– That good will conquer evil?– The truth we all believe will by-and-by– Outlive a lie– For you and–”_

“Excellent, Oikawa-san,” Kikuta said, becoming visibly excited. Saito was rapidly scribbling notes on his copy of the script. “At this point you get interrupted by the member of the chorus. Keep going.” The music had already moved on ahead, so Tooru stuttered and tried to keep up.

_“There’s been much speculation and rumors, innuendo and outuendo, that I only know these facts. On the thirteenth hour, a bucket of water was poured and… yes, the Wicked Witch of the West is dead.”_

“Good Oikawa, still good. Remember that when you speak these lines, you actually care the Wicked Witch is dead. The chorus sings _‘No one mourns the wicked’_ but the truth is, while they’re celebrating, you _are_ mourning. You’re trying to be happy to hide how sad you truly are. Let’s try it one more time, from the top of the page.”

Saito paused the music and Tooru repeated his line. He wasn’t sure if he performed it with any more or less angst than he did the first time, but he was still commended by Kikuta and they continued along.

It wasn’t until Tooru was finally sitting down and reading all his lines out loud that he realized… Galinda talks a _lot_ . While Elphaba was somewhat of a show stealer, by pure amount of words alone it could safely be assumed that Galinda was the _star_ of the play. Tooru gulped down his nerves and continued along.

The principal had been somewhat involved in the play. He was uncomfortable to show an adulterous relationship to the entire school (and parents), so the story had changed slightly. Elphaba’s parents had trouble conceiving, so her mother drank a potion that allowed her to have a baby, but died at childbirth. Her father blamed Elphaba for his wife’s death and treated her cruelly because of her green skin. It was a lot to recite, and Tooru was already feeling his throat run dry as they entered the Shiz scenes.

He was beyond relieved when it finally got to the part of the play where Elphaba was introduced. Because of time restraints, Kikuta had explained, they had to cut a number of the songs, so a lot of the lyrics to Elphaba’s first song were embedded into dialogue.

It was a major anxiety niggling in the back of his head, the fact that Galinda’s songs seemed to have more presence than Elphaba’s, but Tooru tried not to let it bother him. Whenever he felt worried, he just looked to his right, and there was Hajime smiling and actively enjoying himself. The least Tooru could do was keep his good mood going.

_“My dearling darlingest Momsie and Popsicle,”_ Tooru said, outright beaming at Hajime.

And although Hajime was glaring back in a way that would have intimidated everyone in the room, Tooru could see the mirth behind it. _“My dear father.”_

_“There’s been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz,”_ they spoke together, but Tooru couldn’t help but hear the tenor in Hajime’s voice. He had such a smooth harmony even when it was just him speaking like this. It outshined Tooru even though they weren’t _really_ supposed to be singing.

_“But of course I’ll make you proud.”_

_“But of course I’ll rise above it!”_ Tooru had tried to raise his voice a note higher and was horrified to hear it crack. It was like his body wasn’t physically capable to reach those notes, and he worried about what this meant for the future of his role. Hajime snorted in response, so good. At least he had made Hajime laugh. That was something.

“Boys, focus.”

_“For I know that’s how you’d want me to respond, yes– There’s been some confusion for you see my roommate is–”_ Tooru already knew the words to the song, so instead he focused his eyes on Hajime to make sure that their words synced up. It was easier when he could look at his lips. It was also an added bonus that his best friend was so easy on the eyes.

_“Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe…–”_

Hajime looked at him flatly. _“Blonde.”_

Tooru raised his hand. Kikuta acknowledged, “Yes, Oikawa-san?”

“I’m not going to have to wear a wig, am I? If you wanted me for my popularity, you’re not going to attract much of a crowd if you hide my naturally flawless hair. It’s one of my most attractive featu-” He was unfortunately cut off when Hajime elbowed him in the shoulder, but his friend kept a laugh hidden beneath the palm of his other hand.

Kikuta seemed to sympathize regardless. “In the play, Elphaba calls Galinda ‘blonde’ several times and it works as a two-way street, to illustrate that Galinda somehow fits this ditzy blonde mould, and to show Elphaba’s jealousy that ‘blonde’ is considered normal while her green skin is abnormal. But… point taken. Wigs are hot and itchy under the lights. However, to save room in our budget from buying a wig,” she said to Tooru, who breathed a sigh of relief, “I’m going to have faith that the audience knows that Galinda is supposed to blonde and we’ll continue on as normal. Iwaizumi, continue.”

“Um. _Blonde–”_

This song was the most familiar with Tooru’s usual back-and-forth with Hajime. _“What is this feeling– So sudden and new?–”_

_“I felt the moment– I laid eyes on you–”_

Tooru had to glance at the lyrics for a moment, but when he looked back up, Hajime still had his eyes on him, a small but confident smile in place.

_“My pulse is rushing–”_

_“My head is reeling–”_

_“My face is flushing–”_ God, this was too real.

Together, _“What is this feeling?– Fervid as a flame– Does it have a name?– YeeeeeEEEEES–”_

Tooru almost felt like standing, the emotion in the song, the look in Hajime’s eyes and the power in his voice, filling him with a similar giddiness to when they synched up for a perfect attack.

_“Loathing!– Unadulterated loathing!–”_

This was getting into familiar territory with their near daily spats. _“For your face–”_

Hajime raised a brow. _“Your voice–”_

_“Your clothing!–”_

_“Let’s just say, I loathe it all!– Every little trait, however small– Makes my very flesh begin to crawl– With simple utter loathing– There’s a strange exhilaration– In such total detestation– It’s so pure, so strong!”_

Normally, for the last line in that segment, it would be the first moment where Galinda and Elphaba sang with a really strong harmony. But Tooru didn’t really _have_ a harmony to speak of, so as Hajime’s voice became stronger, Tooru backed down. Everyone in the room leaned in closer, surprised by Hajime’s powerful vibrato. Nobody had ever really heard it that strong before, and even though Tooru had been given a private performance last week, it still threw him for a loop.

Tooru joined back in, if a little hesitant now. _“Though I do admit it came on fast– Still I do believe that it can last–  And I will be loathing, loathing you my whole~ life~ long–”_ It just didn’t sound good, now. Now that Hajime was actually kinda-sorta trying and Tooru was left with nothing to work with.

“Good,” Kikuta said. “Now, Chorus.”

_“Dear Glinda, you are just too good– How do you stand it? I don’t think I could– She’s a terror, she’s a tartar– We don’t mean to show a bias, but Galinda you’re a martyr!–”_

“Great. Oikawa-san, go.”

Shit, his solo part. He frowned and simply spoke the words, didn’t even try. That’s what today was for, anyway. Let Hajime show off. God knows he rarely has a chance to do so. _“Well, these things are sent to try us–”_

The chorus started their lines again, and when Tooru looked back up at Hajime, he was smiling encouragingly. “You’re doing great,” he said softly. It was obvious Hajime was having fun with all this, and Tooru found that, despite the awkwardness with his voice and the fact that this was more _Hajime’s_ thing than his own, he was having a good time too. Doing anything with Hajime was fun, even if it was kind of humiliating.

The chorus finished their part and Kikuta started directing again. “Okay, this part’s tricky with the overlap. Doesn’t need to be perfect, just read along.”

With the chorus in the background, Tooru and Hajime started singing again. _“What is this feeling– So sudden and new?– I felt the moment– I laid eyes on you!– My pulse is rushing– My head is reeling– Oh, what is this feeling?– Does it have a name?– YeeeeeEEEEES– Loathing!–”_

Tooru’s voice cracked. Hajime couldn’t stop laughing. The chorus got distracted and started giggling too. “This is pointless,” Tooru whined, breaking character. “You can’t expect a man to be able to hit those high notes. Can’t we skip this and go on? We can discuss it later…”

Kikuta sighed, quick to agree. “Oikawa-san’s right. We can workshop the music in more detail later. Let’s continue on with the play.”

The rest of the read-through was fairly dry. Keiko was fun to interact with as Fiyero, even if it was a little awkward having to flirt with his ex, and her light version of _‘Dancing Through Life’_ seemed to impress the room. Tooru spoke his way through _‘Popular’_ and it wasn’t that bad at all, since he wasn’t competing with Hajime’s voice. He even got commended a couple times by Kikuta for his inflection and diction!

They worked through a few more scenes, including Tooru’s titular moment where Galinda changed her name to _Glinda._ Elphaba’s first solo song was _‘I’m Not That Girl,’_ which Hajime performed a little more rigidly than he did in the clubroom. That still didn’t stop the crowd around the table from holding their breaths. In fact, everyone seemed to be on the edge of their seats, enamored by Hajime’s singing voice. It was so unfortunate, Tooru thought, that so many of Elphaba’s songs were duets with Galinda where they had to sing on top of each other, obscuring any talent that Hajime had with Tooru’s flat voice.

_“Elphaba, why couldn’t you have stayed calm for once, instead of flying off the handle!–”_ Tooru said, sounding not unlike when he berated Hajime for being too uncouth in front of his fanclub, _“I hope you’re happy!– I hope you’re happy now– I hope you’re happy how you hurt your cause forever!– I hope you think you’re clever!”_

_“I hope_ you’re _happy!– I hope you’re happy too– I hope you’re proud how you would grovel in submission, to feed your own ambition!–”_

It was supposed to be another duet, but once again Tooru couldn’t help but feel… overpowered, in a way. This wasn’t even his specialty. He shouldn’t be worried that Hajime was so good at something Tooru wasn’t, but all the same… This was Hajime. This was _Iwa-chan._ And suddenly people weren’t seeing Seijoh’s Ace and Oikawa’s Best Friend, they were seeing something completely different. Something beautiful and personal that Tooru didn’t know all that well. It was a little… scary…

“Oikawa-san,” Kikuta prompted. Tooru jumped. He had been so lost in his own head that he missed his cue.

_“Elphie, please, just, listen to me– You can still be with the Wizard– What you’ve worked and waited for– You can have all you’ve ever wanted–”_

_“I know– But I don’t want it– No– I can’t want it, anymore–”_

It was like a chill entered the room, despite sharing such a cramped space with so many people. Even Tooru felt goosebumps on his forearms. Kikuta snapped her fingers and pointed at Saito. Tooru figured perhaps the two shared a similar relationship that he and Hajime had, because without trading a single a word, Saito set up the stereo to start playing the song. Kikuta was encouraging Hajime to go all-out.

_“Something has changed within me– Something is not the same– I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game–”_ Even though Hajime couldn’t hit those high notes the way the woman could on the soundtrack could, he still had a way of shaping his pitch to work for him.

_“Too late for second guessing– Too late to go back to sleep– It’s time to trust my instincts– Close my eyes– And le~ap!–”_ Tooru had only heard Hajime sing a handful of songs at this point, which seems criminally small considering how wonderful his voice was and how long they had been (allegedly) Best Friends. He seemed to have a habit of looking up towards the corner where the wall and ceiling met when singing songs that required more attention than others.

_“It’s time to try defying gravity– I think I’ll try defying gravity– And you can’t hold me down–”_

Once again, Tooru found himself in such awe that he didn’t notice what was wrong until Hajime and almost everyone in the room was looking at him. “Oikawa-san,” Kikuta nudged.

“Oh! Sorry, uh…” He had to look down at his script when he realized he was a page behind. “Uh… _Can’t I make you understand?– You’re having delusions of grandeur!–”_

“Iwaizumi-san, go,” Kikuta said, a focused look in her eye that shared adjectives with all the descriptions Tooru had heard about his own gaze when sizing someone up.

_“I’m through accepting limits– ‘Cause someone says they’re so!– Some things I cannot change– But ‘til I try, I’ll never know!– Too long I’ve been afraid of– Losing love, I guess I’ve lost– Well, if that’s love– It comes at much too high a cost!– I’d sooner buy defying gravity– Kiss me goodbye, I’m defying gravity– And you can’t pull me down–”_

A funny thing happened in those last lines. Hajime tried to pitch his voice higher than it could go, making it crack and he had to clear his throat before continuing. But this didn’t make him stop. He didn’t seem embarrassed or shaken by it, he acknowledged it by raising his brows briefly and moving forward. Tooru wished he could brush off his own mistakes that easily.

A member of the chorus spoke up when Kikuta pointed at them. _“Open this door! In the name of His Supreme Ozness!”_

“Okay, Iwaizumi-san. This part you’re desperate. You’re not good at performing spells under pressure. Oikawa-san, you think this is foolishness. You think your best friend is going to do something that will make him get hurt, and you want to stop it at all costs.”

_“Ah May Ah Tay Ah Tum Ditum…”_ Hajime chanted.

_“Elphie, what are you doing? This dumb levitation spell is what caused this trouble to begin with! STOP!!”_ Tooru cried. Hajime stopped, and they both paused, their characters waiting for a reaction. _“…And where are your wings? Maybe you aren’t as powerful as you think you are.”_

The music was paused for Kikuta to give more notes. “The stage directions say this is where the broomstick is supposed to levitate to Elphaba’s hand. We don’t have the rigging to do that, but we’re working on a solution,” she explained. Saito nodded as he continuing taking notes in his script draft that was becoming bloodied with red ink. “For the dramatic moment where Elphaba flies, what we have planned is a tall staircase that Iwaizumi-san will ascend during the scuffle between Galinda and the guards.”

She opened the floor to suggestions, but most people wanted to continue on with the reading. The music resumed and Hajime focused back on the script. _“I did it! I told you I could!”_

“The guards break down the door, Elphaba offers her broom to Galinda…”

_“Get on.”_

_“What?”_

_“Come with me… Think of what we could do… together… Unlimited– Together we’re unlimited– Together we’ll be the greatest team there’s ever been, Glinda– Dreams the way we planned them–”_

Tooru wished he didn’t get so shaken while attempting to sing. He thought he’d enjoy being able to duet with Hajime, but it was surprisingly stressful in a way so far displaced from volleyball that it was electrifying. Seeing Hajime’s eyes so intent on making this moment matter caused Tooru’s stomach to make uncomfortable flips. How could he possibly make Hajime proud of him if he kept screwing up?

_“If we work in tandem–”_

_“There’s no fight we cannot win!”_ Together, horribly off-key, _“Just you and I defying gravity– Just you and I defying gravity–”_ Tooru swore he saw Saito wince.

And Hajime again, voice like honey, _“They’ll never bring us down– Well? Are you coming?”_

_“Elphie, you’re trembling… Here, take this.”_ This was the part where Glinda gifted Elphaba with her infamous black cape. _“I hope you’re happy– Now that you’re choosing this–”_

_“Me too– I hope it brings you bliss–”_

Together, but this time Tooru simply muttered along, refusing to sully Hajime’s pretty voice, _“I really hope you get it– And you don’t live to regret it– I hope you’re happy in the end– I hope you’re happy, my friend–”_

“Guards,” Kikuta said.

_“There she is! Don’t let her escape!”_

“They take Glinda and hold her back.” She pointed.

_“Let go of me! Don’t touch me! Release me at once!”_

Everyone in the room flinched when Hajime suddenly stood up. _“It’s not her you want! It’s me! Over here! HAHAAHAAHAA!”_ He took in a big shaking breath, and Tooru took that moment to look across the room. Everyone had all eyes on him, with large, awed smiles.

_“So if you care to find me– look to the western sky!– As someone told me lately– Everyone deserves the chance to fly!– And if I’m flying solo– At least I’m flying free!– To those who ground me– Take a message back from me–”_

“Yes, Iwaizumi-san!” Kikuta shouted, like she was creating some kind of monster.

_“Tell them how I am defying gravity!– I’m flying high defying gravity!!– And soon I’ll match them in renown!–”_ Another huge breath. _“And nobody in all of Oz– No wizard that there is or was– Is ever gonna bring me~e down!”_

There was a pause, empty. Tooru was supposed to be saying something, but he messed up. The song continued without him.

_“Look at her, she’s wicked! Get her!–”_ the chorus said, all smiling and stunned by Hajime’s voice.

_“Bring me down!!–”_

_“No one mourns the wicked– So we’ll have to bring her…–”_

**_“OoooOOOOOHHHH!!!”_ **

_“Do~wn!–”_

And then Tooru fainted.

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

When Aoba Johsai lost to Shiratorizawa in the inter-high tournament of Tooru’s second year, the first tournament where he and Hajime were both starters, Tooru remained perfectly stoic the entire bleak ride home. The retiring third years were commiserating in the back of the bus while Tooru contemplated the huge responsibility about to be bestowed upon him. Hajime sat beside him, torn between nodding off and staring at his phone, but nevertheless Tooru appreciated his presence.

Tooru kept thinking about what he could have done differently. He should have set to Hajime instead of his ace captain. The final whistle still shrilled in his head as he remembered the stern look on Ushijima’s face, disappointed, before he turned his back and retreated into the locker room with his equally stoic team.

It was that one look, seeing the light of hope wane from Ushijima’s eyes, that made Tooru’s insides wither. He’d spent most of his life with spectators, teammates, coaches all looking at him with much-warranted approval, and suddenly… it was gone. Evaporated between his fingers.

Makki and Mattsun were quiet in the seats in front of them. Tooru could see through the crack between the seats that Makki was slumped over on Mattsun’s shoulder, probably sleeping.

_“Iwa-chan,”_ Tooru mumbled. He could barely hear himself over the thrum of the road, but Hajime glanced to his eyes anyway.

_“Hm?”_

_“Are you… disappointed?”_

Tooru could read the look on his face. Of course it was disappointing to leave early. Of course it was disappointing to shame their senpais by failing to defeat Shiratorizawa, _again._ Of course, of course, but…

_“No.”_

Tooru held his gaze for a moment before turning to stare introspectively out the window.

Hajime continued, _“It’s never been disappointing. I don’t think it ever will be.”_ They were keeping their voices low, but over the sounds of the bus engine and the road it meant they had to get close. Comfortably close. Hajime looked like had something more to say, when suddenly–

_“Gungun bar?”_

Yahaba. Sweet, darling little first year Yahaba sitting beside Watari in the seats behind them leaned over with a handful of Gungun bars of various flavors.

_“My dad bought me a box to take to the tournament, but we didn’t stay as long as I thought, so now I have all these leftover.”_ Adorable, precious, stupid Yahaba. _“I’ve got lots of chocolate-flavored ones, too.”_

_“Sure, I’ll take one,”_ Hajime answered casually.

Tooru took one too, but he wasn’t very hungry at all. _“Thanks…”_

Later on at home, once he and Hajime split off into their separate houses, he cried into the open arms of his sister. She cooed sweet nothings into his ear and rubbed her hand up and down his back. _“You still have the Spring Tourney, kiddo. And even beyond that, your volleyball career is far from over…”_

_“But they put me in because I knew him! I was the only one who knew everything about Ushiwaka and it wasn’t enough! I played my best but it wasn’t…”_ His throat tightened up, clenched until to other words could come out. A few more loving words from his sister had him breathing again. _“I could see it in the captain’s face… he was so disappointed…”_

_“It’s all relative, Tooru. Put yourself in his shoes, even if you managed to win nationals, you would still be disappointed that it’s your last game with your high school team, right? None of your teammates told you they were disappointed, did they?”_ she asked, a thinly veiled threat in her tone. Tooru knew better than to answer.

Tooru and his sister shared a common trait of aggressive support. Nobody is allowed to disparage an Oikawa sibling except for each other. _“I asked Iwa-chan,”_ Tooru finally admitted. _“He seemed… fine with it.”_

_“Then that’s fine, isn’t it?”_ Out of everyone who knew of his relationship with Hajime, his sister was the most understanding of it. Perhaps it came from a keen understanding and seeing the relationship grow right before her eyes.

But still, the fact that Hajime seemed to be content in the face of failure did little to soothe Tooru’s distress. _“Even Ushiwaka was let down. I could see it in his stupid face.”_

_“Who cares about that? Think about Hajime-kun. As long as he’s okay, then you’re okay. Focus on that for now.”_ She continued combing her fingers against Tooru’s scalp until his breathing slowed and his sniffles ebbed.

She had a point, Tooru supposed. As long as Hajime was okay with his performance, then he had nothing to worry about. So for now, he would continue his training regimen, work harder than ever before, and do everything possible to make sure he would never be a disappointment to Hajime.

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

_“Woah! Is he okay?”_

Tooru opened his eyes, taking a moment to wonder why everyone’s faces were above him. It was odd, considering Tooru was used to being the tallest person in the room. Hajime was there, looking concerned. It was a good look. Tooru reached up and poked the worried crease between his brows, practically permanent at the tender age of eighteen. He watched as Hajime deflated and leaned back on his haunches. Since when had Tooru been on the floor?

“Yeah, he’s fine. I’ll take him to the nurse,” Hajime told the crowds of others that loomed over him. Tooru’s hand was already raised for help getting to his feet, a byproduct of years being Hajime’s partner for warm-up stretches before practice. Once on his feet, Tooru didn’t particularly feel dizzy, but the feeling of knowing he must have blacked out left him somewhat bewildered.

“Okay, that was a good stopping point, anyway. We’ll continue on with Act Two tomorrow afternoon, does that work for everyone?” Kikuta asked, taking her worrying eye off of Tooru for a moment to address the rest of the cast.

Tooru watched as everyone nodded in agreement, including, much to his horror, Hajime. “We can’t,” Tooru said, more to him than to the others. He lowered his voice. “Afternoon practice.”

Hajime looked concerned, but didn’t immediately rescind his affirmation to Kikuta. “I’ll get in touch with you, Kikuta-san. I really should take him to the nurse.”

Tooru didn’t _want_ to go to the nurse. He wasn’t dizzy and felt fine, despite what had just happened. He was more embarrassed than anything.

Kikuta agreed with Hajime and shooed them out the door. “Of course! Take care of yourself, Oikawa-san.”

“I feel great! Don’t worry about me. Sorry for the disturbance.” He made sure to flash the room a peace sign, something to help them feel a little less uncomfortable, before Hajime dragged him out of the performing arts center and to the main building where the nurse’s office was. It was late enough in the afternoon that most of the clubs had dispersed so they had the hallway to themselves.

“We can’t skip practice.”

“Kikuta asked you about scheduling conflicts before you agreed to all this,” Hajime huffed, walking a little faster than their usual gait down the hall.

“Practice isn’t a ‘scheduling conflict,’ Iwa-chan, it’s _life!”_ Tooru spat back. “If we don’t go regularly, we can kiss our scholarships to Todai goodbye!”

Hajime ruffled up a little at the comment. “You should have thought about this beforehand, Oikawa. You can’t expect everyone to bend over backwards to fit your schedule.”

Tooru stopped them in front of the nurse’s door. “Are you really going to ditch volleyball to do the play?”

Hajime was about to answer before the door slid open and revealed a woman in her mid-forties wearing an open white lab coat. “I hear _sports talk_ outside my door, what is it this time?” she said menacingly, squinting up at them. “Ah, Iwaizumi-kun, Oikawa-kun. You’re both standing and there’s no bloody noses, it can’t be too bad.”

She stood aside, and Hajime let Tooru enter the room first. “Hi, Nagawa-sensei,” Hajime said, by this point in his high school career unaffected by her curtness. “Oikawa passed out.”

That seemed to catch her attention. Her usual view of Tooru was him curled up crying because of a twisted ankle, a busted knee, or a playful punch that maybe went a shade too far amongst his friends. Thankfully, the room was empty and Tooru sat on the edge of one of the spare cots while Nagawa pulled up his health record on the computer on her desk.

“Don’t really have a record of fainting here,” she said. “How are you feeling now?”

“Great. I didn’t need to come, it was only…” He glanced questioningly towards Hajime.

“Maybe two seconds. He sorta just… fell over and was awake again by the time he hit the floor.”

“Do you remember any dizziness leading up to it?” she asked Tooru. “What was going on when it happened?” She sat down on a stool with wheels on it and scooted closer, holding a small flashlight in her hand and flashing it in his eyes. “Look left.”

Tooru looked towards the office’s windows. “No dizziness. We were doing a reading of the script for the Arts Festival play,” he explained.

“No athletics?” she asked, this time turning to Hajime, as if trusting him more.

“No, ma’am. I was singing a part in the script when it happened, Oikawa wasn’t even doing anything.”

Tooru winced. Without warning, Nagawa flashed the light on his pupils and made him wince again.

“Mhm. Look right.”

Tooru looked over to where Hajime was standing, staring right back at him with his arms crossed. Why did he always look like he was flexing when he did that? Tooru gulped. “Honestly, I feel perfectly fine…”

Nagawa seemed confused a moment, moving the flashlight around. “Your pupils are oddly dilated. Up.”

Tooru looked up, thankful not to gaze at Hajime anymore so he could try in vain to regulate his breathing. “Okay,” Nagawa said, flicking off her torch and and rolling back to her computer. “Thanks for bringing him in, Iwaizumi-kun. Let me speak to him alone for a moment. Shut the door on your way out?”

Hajime seemed a little shocked; usually when doctors had a prognosis, he was closeby to listen and make sure Tooru wouldn’t disobey orders and overexert himself. But dutifully, he left the office and slid the door shut on his way out.

Nagawa didn’t say anything, but pulled a pamphlet out from a desk drawer and handed it to Tooru. It had an illustration of a blushing boy on the front. _“What’s Happening To My Body?: Answers To Tricky Questions About Pubescence And The Teenage Male.”_

“A little tip, Oikawa-kun,” Nagawa said, hardly capable of holding back a smirk. “Next time your crush sings you a song, remember to breathe.”

Tooru jumped off the table, shoving the pamphlet so far down his uniform slacks that he almost ripped a hole in his pocket, and met up with Hajime in the hallway. Hajime jumped a little at the sudden exit but was quick to catch up.

“What did she say?”

“Nothing. Just as delightful and candid as always.”

Later that night, after Tooru finished dinner and said goodnight to his parents, he read the pamphlet before ripping it to shreds and throwing it away. He laid on his back and stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars on his bedroom ceiling and wondered what the fuck was wrong with him.

At school the following morning, Tooru crossed paths with Nagawa-sensei in the halls and couldn’t stand to make eye contact with her.

Hajime was beside him, but didn’t notice Nagawa-sensei or Tooru's discomfort as he looked through his backpack for his notebook. “Hey, did you take notes in English yesterday? Did you get the vocabulary?”

Tooru was about to rebuke Hajime at the poor organizational state of his bag when Makki walked up with a big grin, followed closely by Mattsun. “Hey guys,” he said. “How was practice?”

“Good,” Hajime said, flipping through a spiral. Tooru didn’t feel the need to elaborate. “Did either of you take vocab notes in English yesterday?”

Mattsun smiled crookedly. “Dude, I’m in Class One. I’m pretty sure we’re at least a lesson behind the college track kids.”

“What vocab?” Makki asked, and then he and Hajime paired off to compare yesterday’s notes in the hall.

Tooru could go straight to class and get situated at his desk before school started, but he honestly enjoyed these moments. He would rather spend them watching as Hajime struggled to copy Makki’s notes into his own spiral while balancing his bookbag on one of his arms. The added weight of his textbooks he took home to study last night had the unintended bonus of accentuating the dip between his deltoid and his bicep.

“So,” Mattsun said, leaning against the wall beside Tooru and effectively cutting off his view of Hajime’s arms. “Kazune-kun said that you fainted during the table read yesterday.”

Tooru frowned. He was hoping the cast and crew would have the decency to keep his incident on the downlow, lest the school fall into an uproar about the wellbeing of its most beloved pupil. “Your shit-eating grin doesn’t give off a sympathetic vibe, Mattsun.”

“I am _very_ concerned,” he said, but his smirk only got more crooked. “What’s going to happen at practice today if you faint and bust your head on the court?”

“Your apprehension has been heard and acknowledged,” Tooru said, hating that even when he stood up straight he still couldn’t stand taller than Mattsun when he slouched. “However, I won’t be at practice today.”

There was a crack showing in Mattsun’s usually indifferent facade, and he actually seemed a little shocked at the news. “Did someone _die?”_

“After my untimely mishap yesterday, we had to cut the table reading short, so we’ll be finishing it off this afternoon instead.” Tooru paused. “…Besides, Iwa-chan was going to go to the table reading regardless, and since we’re the two main leads, it would behoove me not to miss a single rehearsal.”

Mattsun raised his brows and rubbed the shadow of stubble starting to grow on his cheeks. “Yeah, I guess, if that’s what you wanna do. Most of the third years’ve already retired altogether. You guys are the only ones who bothered to keep it up…” Mattsun wasn’t planning on continuing his education into college, so he occasionally joined Tooru and Hajime to elective practices while Makki had to study his ass off for entrance exams.

“Only for the _exercise,_ and to keep sharp for college _._ It’s not like we play in the practice matches. We instill valuable knowledge unto our darling progeny!”

Mattsun made a face at that, turning to glance at Hajime. “God, you guys are gross.” He blinked and looked back to Tooru. “Say, what song was it that did you in?”

At least Kazune didn’t go into detail about the events that occurred. Tooru could feel his cheeks heating up. If Mattsun dared point it out, he’d blame it on standing in a stuffy hallway while wearing his blazer. _“Defying Gravity.”_

“No shit? That’s the one that Iwaizumi’s character sings, right? Was Iwaizumi singing at the time?”

Tooru wanted to take Mattsun’s lack of knowledge as a chance to reshape the narrative and spin it in the best way possible, but it was difficult to fib a yes-or-no question. “Uh… yes, I–”

Mattsun’s smile was loud enough to interrupt him. “Gross! You guys are so gross, I swear to god.”

Tooru stood, stone-faced. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”

“Wait-wait-wait– Sorry, my best marks were in science, so you’ll have to excuse my inquisitive mind,” Mattsun said.

“You’re excused.” Wherever he was going with this, it couldn’t be good.

“I want to test a hypothesis I have. Stay still.” He took a moment to clear his throat, looking Tooru directly in the eyes before crooning, _“Memory– All alone in the moonlight– I can smile at the old days– I was beautiful then–”_

Tooru was _mortified._

Students paused in their commute to their classrooms, all attention to Mattsun and his goddamn stupid beautiful voice that he only brought up at karaoke or on the fly when he was trying to impress a girl. It didn’t work on Tooru, though. Only served to make him livid. Was he the only one in their friend group who couldn’t sing??

“What are you doing?!” he cried. Hajime and Makki had heard the commotion and were looking over from their spot a few meters away. Curious, they walked closer.

“Where do you know that one from?” Hajime asked, familiar with the song while at the same time completely indifferent to Tooru’s distress. Thankfully, this meant Mattsun and Makki set their lasers on Hajime instead.

The real answer to Hajime’s question was that Mattsun’s mom loved the musical _CATS_ as a teenager and had forced him to watch it numerous times growing up. Makki provided a much more colorful explanation. “His parents are furries.”

“They met at a convention.”

“Love at first sight.”

“Of course, they couldn’t see past the masks of their costumes.”

“But it’s as they say, _true_ love is blind.”

Mattsun smiled, wrapping his arm around Makki’s shoulders. “Makki, my idiomatic friend, I believe you’re preaching to the choir.”

Hajime looked confused, but it lasted only a brief moment before his name was called from across the hall. “Iwaizumi-kun~!”

It was such an unusual sound, Hajime’s name called by the pleasant voice of a young woman, that it caused Tooru, Mattsun, and Makki to turn their heads as well.

Keiko-chan, a familiar sight in the halls of Aoba Johsai, but foreign around their particular clique, especially after the breakup. Hajime was casual around her, the same way he was when she was dating Tooru, posture lax and voice low. “Ikeda-san, yo.”

She descended into their corner, which seemed dingy and dreary in comparison to all the glitter and candescence she effortlessly carried with her wherever she landed. Tooru had almost forgotten it was a trait he'd been hugely attracted to before, but had slowly grown used to it after sitting beside her all year. He didn’t exactly appreciate the way she was glowing all over Hajime.

“I didn’t get a chance to see you yesterday after the table reading. You sing _brilliantly,_ I had no idea!”

Hajime wasn’t expecting the compliment. It was almost amusing watching him flounder in her radiance. “Uh… Thanks. You too, _Dancing Through Life_ can be hard, but you handled it really well.”

The three other boys watched the conversation like a tennis match, eyes bouncing back and forth as the awkward exchange carried on.

“That’s nice of you to say, but I’m nowhere near as good as you. Did you take lessons at some point? It’s a talent that was never pointed out to me before.” Between the lines, she meant ' _It’s a talent Tooru never talked about before.'_ Tooru tried to ease the embarrassed flush from rising.

“It’s just something I do in my free time,” Hajime insisted. _Liar,_ Tooru thought. As if Hajime ever spent any of his free time away from Tooru.

“Well, I’m looking forward to our duet at the table read this afternoon. We’re going to have to rehearse it a lot, I’m sure. Maybe we can get together sometime and practice?” The look in her eyes was nothing short of predatory. It reminded Tooru of the vastly different shades between ‘Keiko-chan during 8am Classic Lit’ and ‘Keiko-chan on the prowl.’

Hajime visibly gulped. “Uh… Yeah. That might be a good idea.”

She smiled. “Good. What’s your number?” Hajime fumbled over his own digits as she entered them into her phone. A moment later, “There, I just texted you!” His phone chimed loudly from his pants pocket. “Well, I need to be heading to class.” She ignored Mattsun and Makki to focus on Tooru, with the same amount of tact that she practiced while they were dating. “I’ll see you in a minute, Tooru!”

He waved in response, his usual grace for flirting, as always, useless where it mattered. As she continued her jaunt to the Class Six classroom, Tooru swore her skirt was hemmed a few centimeters shorter than usual, kicking against the peek of bare thighs above her over-the-knee socks.

“Well,” Makki said, the first to break the quiet spell in Keiko-chan’s wake. “She’s just as civil as I recall from first year…”

“She’s not that bad,” Tooru said. Even after the breakup, he was always the first to step up and defend her. He didn’t know why, though. The list of reasons why it didn’t work out between them was too long to keep track, but near the top was the way she deliberately ignored his friends. It seemed fine at the time, somewhere in the back of his sophomoric mind he thought this meant less competition. But now suddenly she had all eyes on Hajime, and Tooru realized he had been seeing competition in the wrong people.

The musical and its casting still left him uneasy. The duet she mentioned was the only duet that Elphaba and Fiyero shared… the one that was spent with the characters in a close embrace for the majority of the song. The song that was obviously an allusion to some sort of _“true love”_ sexual awakening. It made Tooru sick to his stomach.

Then the bell rang.

“What is it?” Hajime asked him, as students began to disperse towards their respective classrooms. Tooru played it off, saying it was nothing, pretending he forgot about a small assignment, nothing big.

“Did you get your English notes from Makki?”

Hajime cursed as he rushed to the Class Three classroom to find Makki before it was too late. Tooru smiled after him, and steeled himself with a deep, pregame breath before going to his classroom to spend several hours sitting beside Keiko-chan.

 


	3. On My Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RECEIVED 7:27PM : its weird to say thru text but ikeda-san told me smth during practice  
> RECEIVED 7:27PM : like confided w me some stuff she asked to keep secret  
> RECEIVED 7:28PM : sorry
> 
> That was odd. Tooru had always known Keiko-chan to be a fairly private girl, which he admired when they were dating. Not the type to keep secrets. What was she hiding that she could only tell Hajime that she didn’t want Tooru to know? Like he was prone to do, his ire dissipated into curiosity as his mind ran away with possibilities. Big secrets like family issues? Friend issues? Relationship issues?
> 
> SENT 7:31PM : what is she like a secret lesbian or smth?
> 
> Maybe Keiko-chan had told Hajime she had a crush on him. Maybe she had already confessed. It would explain the caramels.
> 
> RECEIVED 7:31PM : no!!! not like that or anything
> 
> RECEIVED 7:34PM : would it be bad tho?  
> RECEIVED 7:34PM : if she were?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey gang! Thanks for staying with me! This chapter is my favorite so far and I'm so excited you finally get to see it! A big shoutout to my friend [notallbees](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notallbees/pseuds/notallballs) for reading over this and generally helping me so much T__T;; I hope you enjoy!!

_**CHAPTER THREE** _

On My Own

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

I love him, but everyday I'm learning   
All my life I've only been pretending   
Without me, his world will go on turning   
A world that's full of happiness   
That I have never known

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

 

Tooru looked down at the page, unhappiness dripping from his every pore.  _ “Don’t wish– Don’t start– Wishing only wounds the heart–” _ He refused to look up, refused to look at Hajime, refused to look at Keiko-chan’s smug smile while his voice wavered in a way that  _ could _ be considered acting to cover up his poor singing.  _ “There’s a girl I know– He loves her so– I’m not that… girl–” _

Despite his constant striving for perfection, there was exceptionally little about himself that Tooru actively despised. If he was ever unhappy with himself, he changed it. Unsatisfactory serves? Practice more. Blemished skin? New face wash. But a terrible singing voice? One that cracked on the high notes, and wouldn't stay steady? Tooru didn’t have a fix for that.

To help Hajime and Keiko-chan with their pacing, Saito played the recording for the backing music. The song began with Elphaba doing some impassioned throaty moans, which was a sound Tooru had never even considered Hajime capable of producing, but here they were, making Tooru pathetically hide his blushing face behind his copy of the script.

_ “Oh~ Oh– Kiss me too fiercely– Hold me too tight– I need help believing– You’re with me tonight–” _

If Hajime’s  _ Defying Gravity _ made Tooru faint, he dreaded to think what  _ this _ was going to do to him.

_ “My wildest dreaming could not foresee– Lying beside you, with you wanting me– And just for this moment– As long as you’re mine– I’ve lost all resistance– And crossed the borderline–” _

It wasn’t just Tooru, right? He couldn't be the only one short of breath, with ruddy cheeks, and pinpricks of sweat in his hairline. He glanced around the room, wondering if this phenomenon was happening to everyone else, because it just  _ had _ to be. Their Madame Morrible seemed indifferent, following along in the pages of her script. The Wizard was distracted with her phone hidden beneath the table. The only response he could see, other than Kikuta’s manic grin — which seemed evergreen during this production — were the soft smiles from the chorus as they bobbed their heads along to the pre-recorded music.

Keiko’s part began. Her voice, when singing about love, was a heady mix of savory alto that was a begrudgingly good fit for Fiyero.  _ “Maybe I’m brainless, maybe I’m wise– But you’ve got me seeing through different eyes– Somehow I’ve fallen under your spell– And somehow I’m feeling, it’s up that I fell–” _

When they sang together it was every bit as beautiful as Tooru desperately wished it could sound when he sang with Hajime. Hajime hadn't taken his eyes off the sheet music, but the corners of his lips were turned up. This was  _ fun _ for Hajime, rather than the rollercoaster of negative emotions Tooru rode as he attempted to catch up to everyone’s skills.

_ “Every moment– As long as you’re mine– I’ll wake up my body– And make up for lost time–” _

Fiyero soloed for a short moment, and when Tooru looked at Keiko-chan she seemed positively radiant.  _ “Say there’s no future, for us as a pair–” _

Hajime finally looked up from his music, glancing over at Keiko-chan. He was smiling too as they continued singing together.  _ “And though I may know– I don’t ca~are!” _

God  _ dammit, _ they sounded so  _ good _ together. Tooru was on the verge of tearing the script to shreds and walking away. Their harmony was perfect. It managed to get the Wizard to look up from her phone. One of the chorus members had taken his phone out and started recording. People were  _ noticing _ how good they were together.

_ “Just for this moment– As long as you’re mine– Come be how you want to– And see how bright we shine!” _

The music swelled, along with their volume. It came at a hindrance though, when Hajime’s voice cracked over the next few lines. He blinked in acknowledgement before soldiering on, and Tooru dearly wished he had that kind of resilience.

And then the song dwindled to its final, quiet notes.

_ “What is it?” _ Keiko-chan asked.

Hajime wasn’t exactly acting, but he let a lazy, conspiratorial smile slide across his lips, not unlike the ones he shared with Mattsun and Makki whenever they worked together to make Tooru’s life a living hell. Although this time, it seemed incidental.

_ “It’s just… for the first time… I feel… wicked.” _

Tooru looked at the script with repulsion.

_ [ ELPHABA and FIYERO share a passionate embrace. ] _

Kikuta applauded and gave her thoughts. “That was absolutely beautiful!” She never said that about anything Tooru ever contributed to the play. “Hajime, you were a little flat near the end, before your voice cracked.”

Tooru’s pettiness got the better of him and he watched contentedly as Hajime blushed at the critique. To Tooru's relief, they weren’t rehearsing blocking yet, so he was spared having to watch Hajime practice _the embrace_ with Keiko, in favour of moving onto the next scene.

After the table reading, Tooru and Hajime returned to the shoe lockers to retrieve their outdoor shoes. Tooru wasn’t used to leaving campus in the daytime. It was still relatively early, and after-school volleyball practice was still going on. He glanced in the direction of the gym as they made their way to the school’s front gate.

“Oi, stop it,” Hajime said.

“Stop what?”

“We’re not going to practice today. Singing’s more active than people credit, so give it a rest.”

Tooru smiled. This banter was easy. It felt nice going back to normal after sitting in a room where Hajime’s talent outshone their usual dynamic. “I wasn’t thinking about-”

“Iwaizumi-kun!” a familiar voice called out.

Tooru sighed, the sound hidden behind Keiko-chan’s footsteps as she rushed to approach them. He stood off to the side so she and Hajime could have their moment.

“Ah- Ikeda-san, hello again…”

“Drop the honorific already, we’re friends, right? You can call me Keiko!” She smiled brightly. Tooru’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. He knew he was making a strange face so he turned away, pretending to be distracted by a crow cawing from a nearby transistor tower.

“Oh-Okay… Uh… Keiko…-san.”

“If you have to use an honorific at least use -chan!” She sounded exasperated, but despite that, she still giggled in that cute-fake way Tooru was familiar with. “You’re an odd duck. I don’t know how Tooru’s able to talk to you so easily.” He couldn’t stop the smug sense of pride welling up within him.

“He as a gift. He can just talk and talk and talk for hours,” Hajime said, both of them talking towards Tooru’s back now. 

Tooru spun around quickly. “Stop acting like I’m not here!”

“Oi, we’re saying nice things. Be flattered.” At least he seemed normal when he was being catty towards Tooru.

Tooru grunted. “Do you want me to hang out by the gate?” Normally he’d be more coquettish around the girls, but Keiko-chan was an ex so the effort would be wasted on her.

“No, it’s okay, I just wanted to ask Hajime-kun a few questions.”

Hajime and Tooru’s faces erupted into boiling-hot neon red. As far as Tooru was aware, this was the first time a girl had ever called his best friend by his given name. Going by Hajime’s reaction, he was probably right. Hajime appeared flustered beyond recognition, but Tooru couldn't help noticing that he didn’t complain, or tell her to go back to  _ Iwaizumi-kun. _

“Hajime-kun, do you like sweets?”

Hajime looked like the personification of a nuclear reactor core having a meltdown. “What? Why?”

“I wanted to bake a thank-you gift for agreeing to practice with me!” 

Tooru frowned. Keiko-chan had never baked him anything nice when they were together. Maybe it was something she'd picked up from her Baking Club boyfriend.

“That really isn’t necessary. I obviously need the extra practice more than you do…”

“Nonsense! Your time is valuable! I want to make you something nice as an incentive for meeting with me.”

Hajime jerkily shook his head. “Y-You don’t need to incentivise that.”

She smiled her freshest smile. “I’m not letting you leave until you answer my question. Hajime-kun, do you like sweets?”

“Th-They’re okay.”

The smile cracked. Now it was Keiko-chan’s turn to look like she was going to have an aneurysm. Hajime had always had an uncanny ability to break through people’s bullshit almost immediately, but now that Tooru was witnessing this talent from the outside, he wondered if it only worked because Hajime was so awkward.

“Okay?" she pressed. "And what kind of sweets do you like?”

“Any kind. Doesn’t matter.”

Well  _ that _ was just a flagrant lie.

“Sweets are fine,” Tooru cut in. “But he likes savory stuff best. You’d be better off making something with salted caramel in it.”

For the first time since approaching them, Keiko-chan acknowledged Tooru with a crooked smile.  _ “Thank you. _ Getting an answer from him is like pulling teeth. I have no idea how you do it!”

_ “Now _ who’s picking on me like I’m not here,” Hajime muttered.

When Keiko-chan wasn’t busy homewrecking his childhood friendship-slash-crush, Tooru seemed to forget that she was just the normal, stressed-out, polite girl that sat next to him in class. At her core, she was very kind, if a bet haughty sometimes, but… Hajime seemed to like that in a person. At least, Tooru  _ knew  _ he could be arrogant at times, but Hajime stood by him through thick and thin regardless. He thought Hajime’s purity played out best with someone a little imperfect standing beside him.

And Keiko-chan was a perfectly imperfect, cute, and talented girl. Hajime had no reason not to be smitten. In fact, he looked…

Tooru's eyes widened. He didn't think he'd ever seen Hajime look so uncomfortable. His hands were balled up into the front pockets of his slacks to keep himself from fidgeting, his eyes boring holes into the pavement. Hajime had never had a girlfriend before, or even a crush that Tooru was conscious of, so Tooru had never had the honor of seeing what Hajime looked like when he was in love.

But… he was pretty sure it shouldn’t look like this.

“I guess I’ve sorta picked up on his habits over the years,” Tooru replied, his habitual flirtiness coming back to him. Keiko-chan was ignoring it, typing some notes into her cell phone.

“Well, I need to go to the grocery store to get some ingredients for caramel, then! I’ve never tried it before! Hajime-kun, are you busy this Sunday? Mid-late afternoon?”

“Uh…” He glanced hesitantly between her and Tooru. “Practice.”

Tooru opened his mouth before he could think. “Iwa-chan! You said so yourself that preparations for the play would come before volleyball. The season’s over, you may as well focus on this in the meantime.”

Hajime turned his intense focus from the pavement to Tooru’s eyes. “Well are  _ you _ going to be at practice?”

Tooru’s grin shrank into something more exasperated. Why couldn’t Hajime tell that The Great Oikawa-sama was simply trying to score the love of his life a date with a pretty girl?! He should be bowing at Tooru’s feet for this magnanimous favor!

“That’s neither here nor there, Iwa-chan. Like you said,  _ you _ need the extra rehearsal time. You should accept Keiko-chan’s generous offer!”

Suddenly Hajime’s eyebrows twitched the crease between them grew as he became annoyed, Tooru assumed because this conversation had gone on as long as it had. “Okay! Fine! Extra rehearsal on Sunday sounds great, Ik-… Keiko…-san.”

She smiled, which was unspeakably cute. “We’ll work on it,” she said. “I’ll text you my address later. Have a good night.”

Her smile stayed just as sweet as she turned and gave Tooru a pleasant nod. Once she was out of earshot, Hajime breathed deeply and asked, “Is Ikeda feeling okay?”

“Hm? How do you mean?”

Hajime glared. “Don’t play dumb.”

“Iwa-chan, honestly, you should be flattered that Keiko-chan thinks so highly of you. She’s a real catch.” The look on Hajime’s face could curdle dairy and it sent an unpleasant shiver down his spine. “I know what you’re thinking! But Iwa-chan, she and I broke up two years ago. We’ve both moved on, _in her case_ _several times,_ so don’t feel shy around her. She’s just the experience a strapping young lad needs before heading out into the great big unknown! Time to break off those training wheels! I say go for it.”

Hajime’s frown worsened. Tooru just wanted to needle his fingers into his cheeks to get him to  _ stop. _ “Go for it,” Hajime parroted, taking out his phone and pouting a little at it.

It was already difficult trying to identify the varying levels of Hajime’s disgruntled faces, of which there were thousands, but this one, with the distant eyes and the soft biting of his inner cheek, was not one Tooru was well acquainted with. But perhaps it was all because this was a matter of love! It wasn’t like Hajime inundated Tooru with romance queries, so maybe this is what Hajime-In-Love actually looked like.

Tooru felt a little dizzy.

Hajime unlocked his phone and started texting. His distraction slowed their pace in their already leisurely march home. 

“Who are you texting?”

“My address to Ikeda.”

Tooru was filled with even more unease. “Ah. I thought you would rehearse at her place.” At least, she had mentioned that she would text Hajime her address. Keiko-chan was  _ far _ from a prude, but her mother stayed at home and had an open-door policy whenever Tooru came over, interrupting their study dates constantly with drinks and snacks. They made it further together in Tooru’s bedroom when both his parents  _ plus _ his sister and nephew were home. Hajime’s parents were both busy people with jobs that kept them out of the house at odd hours. The fact didn’t sit well with Tooru.

“Doesn’t matter,” Hajime shrugged, sounding somewhat agitated. “Just being proactive. Y’know.  _ Going for it.” _

“…Ah. Good.”

Being friends and sharing almost every cornerstone experience together meant there were plenty of moments of shared silences. Most of them pleasant and passed unassumingly. This was not one of those moments.

Tooru was suddenly suffocating in his own skin. He kept trying to sneak looks at Hajime, see if his friend felt as  _ off _ as he did. This wasn’t normal, though. The burning anxiety made his skin itch and he was sweating, despite the cool weather. The dizziness was started to get to him. Would it look awkward if he took his school blazer off right now?

This was ridiculous. Tooru had to  _ stop. _ This was all inevitable anyway. He knew he had no chance with Hajime and yet he continually let himself get hurt by these moments. He had to put a stop to this, once and for all.  _ No more crushing on Iwaizumi Hajime. _ Carve it in stone and carry the boulder on his back. Tooru was not allowed to love him anymore.

“You wanna come over?”

Tooru’s precious little heart tripped out of his chest as he tried to contain himself. “Uh… no,” he replied, surprising even himself with his response. Hajime looked at him curiously. “I just, uh… homework.”

Stupid mistake. Hajime just looked more confused. “We always study together.” They slowed to a stop at the gate outside of Tooru’s home.

“You’re a very big distraction, Iwa-chan.” Open mouth, insert foot. “I mean! Last time I came over we watched an entire musical together! I need to get some reading done, so don’t–”

Hajime’s cell chimed and he took it out again to check. Tooru had never wanted to throw that phone with the cute Godzilla case against a brick wall as strongly as he did right that moment.

“What does it mean when a girl texts you a lot of emojis?” Hajime asked, smirking slightly.

Tooru gulped and turned to enter his home. “I have to go.”

Quick and hasty exits weren’t Tooru’s thing, so Hajime was rightly perplexed. “Okay, then. See you tomorrow.” Tooru almost missed the confused wave as he shut the front door behind him, but by then it was too late to return it.

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

It was much too cold for Tooru to keep his bedroom window open, but he couldn’t help it. He was a masochist, maybe. It helped a lot that singing was a  _ loud _ activity and Tooru was able to eavesdrop easily.

He sat on his futon and rested his arm on his bedroom windowsill and simply listened. It was Sunday, and usually he would spend it on extra practice, shopping or errands, chores, but instead he used it to sit and listen to the muffled sounds coming from Hajime’s window scant meters away.

_ “Well, if that’s love– It comes at much too high a cost!– I’d sooner buy defying gravity–” _ A short pause, some muffled discussion, then, _ “Kiss me goodbye, I’m defying gravity– And you can’t-” _

He was interrupted again, more muffled conversation. At least they were actually practicing. Soon he could hear Keiko-chan sing the same lines, only without falling flat on the high notes, then Hajime trying again.

It was sort of pleasant. Tooru honestly wished he could have been a part of it. It wasn’t often he got to hear Hajime’s pretty singing voice, so it was vexing that Keiko-chan was monopolizing all his time. If Tooru was being brutally honest with himself, if anybody from the central cast needed singing lessons, it was himself more than Hajime.

They had been singing pretty constantly for an hour before Hajime’s mom’s car pulled into the driveway. He watched her gather her briefcase and a sack of groceries from the backseat and walked past Keiko-chan’s bicycle to make her way indoors. A moment later, the singing stopped.

“Tooru! Dinner!” his own mother called from downstairs. As much as he wanted to wait and see what would happen, he was cold after sitting in front of his open window for so long and a warm meal sounded enticing. Dinner was nice, and his parents had a conversation with each other that thankfully didn’t involve Tooru, so he spent most of the time anxiously bouncing his leg under the table and staring out the window in their living room that overlooked the Iwaizumi’s front yard.

Keiko-chan’s bicycle was still parked out front.

“Tooru, help with the dishes tonight?” his mom asked. He tore his eyes away from the window for fifteen whole minutes while he scrubbed down the plates and bowls and cookware, but when he got back to the window, her bike was still there. It was dark now, so maybe Hajime's parents had driven her home?

His father settled down on the couch to watch television and couldn’t help but observe his son glaring out their window, absently chewing on his thumbnail in deep thought. “…You want to go visit Hajime-kun?” he asked. 

Tooru blinked and glanced over to him, cheeks ruddy. “What? No. Not really. I mean, a little. But I don’t think– I mean I think he’s busy but I don’t–”

The familiar rusty creak of the Iwaizumi’s front screen door opening echoed into the Oikawa living room. Tooru watched as Keiko-chan walked out the door, all smiles, followed shortly by Mrs. Iwaizumi and Hajime. Keiko-chan bowed graciously and spoke with them a moment, but Tooru couldn’t hear exactly what, other than a couple of “thank yous.”

“Isn’t that Keiko-chan from your first year?” his father asked, taking his son’s silence as an answer and turned his attention back to the television. “Sorry, kid,” was his only condolence.

Tooru could tell that Hajime’s mom was trying to convince her to let them drive her home, but Keiko-chan eventually gave Hajime a cute little wave and took her bike down their sidewalk. Mrs. Iwaizumi went back inside but Hajime stayed to see Keiko-chan off until she rounded the corner outside of their neighborhood.

And much to Tooru’s horror, Hajime happened to look up on his short walk back to his home, right into the Oikawa's living room window, to see Tooru standing right there, staring at him. Hajime waved slowly, pausing for a moment to point at the gap between their houses, upwards towards their bedroom windows.

Tooru nodded and left to go upstairs to his room.

He opened his window and settled on his bed while he waited for Hajime to show up. It’d been awhile since they did this, especially once they got older and it was easier to communicate with a text. Hajime’s bedroom light blinked on and within seconds his blinds drew up and he opened his window.

“Hey,” Hajime said simply, taking a seat in his desk chair and rolling it over to his window. With him was a cup of warm tea that was steaming in the cool late-autumn air.

“How was practice?” Tooru asked, cutting to the chase.

“It was good.” His voice was hoarse. He had to clear his throat and took a sip of the tea before continuing. “A lot more involved than I thought. Ikeda-san’s a good vocal coach…”

“Keiko-chan.”

“Hm?”

“That’s what she wants you to call her. If you really plan on  _ ‘going for it,’ _ you should at the very least call her that.”

Hajime didn’t comment, rather turned away for a moment to pick something up off his desk. It was a pastel pink paper bag, gold sticker seal popped open. “Do you like candy? She made like a  _ ton.” _ With practiced skill, he tossed the bag across the way and through Tooru’s window. Tooru didn’t think fast enough to catch them, and the bag opened when it landed, causing some of Keiko-chan’s salted caramels to spill on Tooru’s futon. Tooru hadn’t had the pleasure of eating one of Keiko-chan’s treats since last Valentine’s Day when she gave him a small friendly pouch of peppermint cookies. The girl had a gift.

Tooru picked one of the caramels off his mattress and popped it in his mouth. It melted right away, soft and chewy, but didn’t stick or pull on his teeth the way some caramels could. “Iwa-chan, you’re so rude throwing away Keiko-chan’s hard work.”

“I had some. They were good,” he said, shrugging indifferently. Indifference! Tooru remembered feeling on top of the world when Keiko-chan gave him an ornate box of store-bought candies when she confessed her feelings to him their first year. She was the type of girl to put real effort into favors she did for other people. Hajime’s indifference was insulting. “If they stayed with me, they’d never get eaten. At least this way, they can be enjoyed.”

“If Iwa-chan plans on keeping a girl, he’s gonna have to learn to accept a gift.”

“Well, Ikeda-san said–”

_ “Keiko-chan.” _

“Will you cut that out?!” Hajime’s face turned crimson. “It’s at least twenty steps too soon for that!”

Tooru frowned and leaned his chin on his palm. “Iwa-chan’s going to stay a virgin forever at this pace.”

“Like you’re one to talk, asshole. If anything, introducing a girl to your parents on the first date is moving too fast.”

Now Tooru was scowling. “We’re trying to get you a girlfriend, Iwa-chan, not a wife.”

“Sorry not everyone’s on the same wavelength as you, Sluttykawa.”

He thought even Hajime realized how that sounded, and as soon as he said it he looked regretful, but it hurt. It hurt so much when he fell for his best friend. It hurt knowing that he didn’t like him back. And it  _ fucking hurt _ knowing his best friend would turn his good intentions around and stab him like this.

Tooru didn’t say anything as he pulled back from the windowsill.

“Oikawa, that came out wrong…”

He didn’t say anything as he jerked the window shut.

“I’m sorry…”

His lips were rigid when he snapped his curtains closed. He could still hear Hajime trying to apologize, muffled as it was.

_ “Tooru, c’mon…” _

It didn’t matter. Hajime had called his practice with Keiko-chan a date. The first date of many, he could see it all unraveling before him. Hajime would continue to invite Keiko-chan over. He was too shy to make the first move, so she would probably confess first, probably initiate a kiss first, teach Hajime all her ins and outs… And Hajime would follow along because why wouldn’t he? Keiko-chan was  _ gorgeous _ and sexy and charming and nothing like the bullheaded, tall, gorilla-man Tooru saw in the mirror every morning.

Moments after turning away from the window, Tooru’s phone buzzed from the floor beside his futon.

_ ♡♡♡Iwa-chan♡♡♡ _ _  
_ _ RECEIVED 7:24PM : cmon its not like being a slut is a bad thing _

Tooru glared at his phone as a “...” appeared signaling that apparently Hajime still had more to say.

_ RECEIVED 7:27PM : its weird to say thru text but ikeda-san told me smth during practice _ __  
_ RECEIVED 7:27PM : like confided w me some stuff she asked to keep secret _ _  
_ __ RECEIVED 7:28PM : sorry

That was odd. He’d always known Keiko-chan to be a fairly private girl, which he admired when they were dating. Not the type to keep secrets. What was she hiding that she could only tell Hajime that she didn’t want Tooru to know? Like he was prone to do, his ire dissipated into curiosity as his mind ran away with possibilities. Big secrets like family issues? Friend issues? Relationship issues?

_ SENT 7:31PM : what is she like a secret lesbian or smth? _

Maybe Keiko-chan had told Hajime she had a crush on him. Maybe she had already confessed. It would explain the caramels.

_ RECEIVED 7:31PM : no!!! not like that or anything _

_ RECEIVED 7:34PM : would it be bad tho? _ _  
_ _ RECEIVED 7:34PM : if she were? _

Tooru sighed deeply and put his phone aside. Of  _ course _ it wasn’t bad. But the fact that she wasn’t at least meant she was still a viable interest for Hajime. Tooru stared at his ceiling, looking at the color glow-in-the-dark stars that Hajime almost broke his leg helping Tooru hang when they were nine. His phone buzzed again.

_ RECEIVED 7:42PM : but it wasnt a date _

The text did little to soothe Tooru’s nerves, but this was something he had been anticipating for a few years now. Eventually Hajime was bound to get a girlfriend. The reason why he was being so wishy-washy about it now had everything to do with Keiko-chan being his ex and the dramatic irony of it all. Tooru didn’t know whether to be more insulted by the fact Hajime was lying to him or that he didn’t feel comfortable coming to Tooru for matters of the heart.

On top of it all, his  _ best friend _ did just call him a slut, and true while it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s not the type of thing Tooru really wanted the love of his life to see him as. Tooru was still righteously upset, and wasn’t willing to forgive Hajime so easily, but he was willing to tamp down his fury if it would help Hajime sleep better tonight.

Being angry at Hajime was exhausting, and it hurt too much.

Tooru pulled back his curtain just enough to see that Hajime hadn’t moved, still leaning out his bedroom window and looking pathetically at his phone. He saw the movement in the corner of his eye and looked up at Tooru, perking slightly. From the ten-centimeter crevice Tooru had made for himself, he gave Hajime a sharp glare and flipped him off, getting a small sense of joy from the way Hajime’s brows returned to their default disgruntled-because-of-Oikawa setting.

“See you tomorrow, jackass,” Hajime said, but when he pulled away to shut his window, Tooru saw a small upward quirk to his lips that filled Tooru with an overwhelming dread. Did he put that smile there… or did Keiko-chan? The apprehension clung to him for the rest of the night while he did his homework.

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

Memorizing lines wasn’t too different from memorizing English vocab or complicated math equations, all things Tooru excelled at, being in Class Six. Thankfully the play was abridged, so even though he had the most lines out of everyone else, it was less than it could have been. On top of that, it meant he shined in presentation amongst his co-stars.

“Excellent, Oikawa-san!” Kikuta said, after he delivered a flawless execution of the entire opening, his script closed on the table. Everyone else still needed to keep theirs open in case they flubbed, Hajime included.

“Iwaizumi-san,” Kikuta added, “You should be a little more articulate at this moment. Elphaba should never mutter when she’s having a moment of passion. Ikeda-san, if we’re going to be on schedule, we need to try to be off-script by the end of the month, is that possible?”

It was already the first week in November. The play was less than two months away and while it seemed like a lot of time, the bustle from the Theatre Club crew kept everyone on a strict deadline. Tooru was left unsure if it was actually all going to fall into place by opening night. They hadn’t even gone over blocking yet, and  _ ‘Dancing Through Life’ _ required an entire ballroom dancing number…

Throughout the week Tooru was forced to watch as Hajime and Keiko-chan flirted with each other through the script. It was the scene right after  _ Popular, _ that Tooru had clumsily sung his way through at the expense of his pride, where Elphaba had her makeover.

_ “It's just… You've been ‘Galinda-fied.’ You don't have to do that, you know?” _ Keiko-chan said, smiling at Hajime from across the table. Hajime smiled back, too sincere to be acting. And according to the blocking notes, Elphaba wasn’t even  _ supposed _ to be happy at that line.

After rehearsal, Tooru and Hajime ran into Makki and Mattsun by the shoe lockers.

“They’ve started to build sets,” Mattsun said, dropping his sneakers on the floor so he could dig his feet in them. “Kazune-kun has this idea to make a huge backdrop for the Emerald City. I think it’s gonna come out really cool.”

“I wish I could help with sets,” Hajime sighed. “I didn’t realize how much I missed  _ moving _ until volleyball ended.”

_ Good, _ thought Tooru pettily.  _ Miss volleyball. Miss it more than you enjoy being in this play. _

“Well, you better be prepared,” Makki warned. “They had Yazawa-chan in charge of costumes and props, but suddenly they added choreography too, so now  _ I’m _ in charge of props while she spends hours after school practicing dancing.”

“That’s impressive,” Hajime said with a low whistle. “It’s a lot of fun seeing it all come together.” He turned to Tooru. “Now we just have to practice acting, right? Wanna come over tomorrow?”

Tooru blinked. “Huh?”

“You said you’d teach me acting,” Hajime reminded. “So how about tomorrow? I feel like one-on-one will help me memorize the script better.”

One-on-one! Meaning Keiko-chan wouldn't be there! It seemed foolish to be excited over something so trivial. They walked to school together, did their homework together, watched movies together, did  _ lots _ together alone, but it still made Tooru’s heart beat faster at the thought of sharing moments with Hajime that nobody else could be a part of, as selfish as it seemed.

“And Iwa-chan promised to teach me how to sing! Don’t forget!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hajime sighed, holding out a fist. “Two birds, one stone.” Tooru happily reached out and tapped Hajime’s knuckles with his own.

Makki laughed. “Iwaizumi acting, I can’t wait.”

The next morning found Tooru standing in front of his closet, stumped. It had been a while since he’d had precious one-on-one time with his best friend, so it was important to dress his best to make Hajime see how pleasant it was to spend time with a work of art. He would dress casually, but cool, with his jeans that made his legs look amazing and his favorite scoop-neck sweater to show off his chiseled collar bone. Although once Tooru had his sweater on, he noticed his jeans weren’t in his closet.

“Momma!” he hollered into the hallway.

She yelled back from the living room downstairs. “Wha~at?”

“Where are my jeans? The nice ones? The dark-wash ones.”

There was a moment when she paused to think. “Oh, your father did a load of darks last night, Tooru. They probably aren’t dry yet…”

_ “What?!” _

Tooru scrambled to the washroom down the hall and found his jeans with a few other of his family’s clothes hanging to dry. The cold air of November made it too damp to dry clothes outside, but it always took three times as long to dry them indoors. True to her word, his best jeans were still damp all over.

“Momma! You aren’t supposed to wash jeans!”

“Then how are they supposed to get clean?”

“You just! Don’t!  _ Augh!” _

“Then don’t leave them crumpled up on your bedroom floor, sweetpea.”

Foiled, he returned to his bedroom closet and tried to find a Plan B. His light-wash jeans were from last winter and starting to get uncomfortably tight after bulking up from Spring Interhigh conditioning. He had some slacks, but they were too nice to wear to Hajime’s house. His volleyball uniform pants still hung in the back of his closet, but that was still too tender a wound to rip open again. It was down to either his school uniform slacks, or his winter running leggings.

He went with the leggings. Thankfully, his sweater was baggy and long enough that he wouldn’t have to wear his running shorts with it. It was a quick trip to Hajime’s house, but still too cold to go out wearing only the thin sweater and leggings. He found a thick, oversized hoodie and threw it on before stomping downstairs.

“Momma, I need a new pair of jeans.”

She was sitting on the couch watching a movie, enjoying her quiet weekend morning off from work. “We just bought you that nice pair.”

“I know, but what good’s a nice pair if they’re out of commission when I need them most?”

His mother made a face, glancing over her shoulder. “Why? You’re just going over to Hajime-kun’s…” She paused, looking him over from hair to shoes. She knew when her son was schlubbing it and when he was trying, and right now he was  _ definitely _ trying. “Come here.”

“Why?”

“Just come here.” She beckoned him over with a hand wave and when he was close enough, she wrapped her hands around his shoulders and pulled him down to kiss his forehead. “You look very cute. Have fun at the Iwaizumis'. Don’t stay too late and annoy them.”

“Impossible,” Tooru said, sliding on his nice sneakers by the entryway.

It was late enough in the morning that the whole Iwaizumi family was awake by now. Tooru could hear the sounds of the radio that plays in the kitchen when Hajime’s mom cooked. He knocked twice loudly before barging in.

“Good morning!” he announced. “I’m home!”

“Welcome back!” Mrs. Iwaizumi played along. The house smelled heavily of fish and rice despite it being past ten in the morning. They must be having a late start. “Have you eaten yet?” she asked once Tooru removed his shoes and snuck into the kitchen.

“I have,” he answered. Only a slice of toast and a fried egg, but he wasn’t about to tell her that. “But I wouldn’t mind a pre-practice snack.” He snatched a dried plum from a bowl in her workspace.

She laughed and swatted his hand away. “Alright, then. I’ll bring you boys breakfast in a bit. Go on up, Hajime should be awake.”

Tooru said good morning to Mr. Iwaizumi, who was reading the paper in the kitchenette by the stairway. Light on his feet, he made his way upstairs to the first door on the left at the end of the hallway.

Once upon a time, that room used to be Mr. Iwaizumi’s study, but as soon as Hajime started sneaking out of his bedroom late at night to talk to Tooru through the windows, Hajime’s parents decided to allow him to change rooms. With the metamorphosis of walkie-talkies to cell phones, it was simply  _ quieter _ to have Hajime’s bedroom as far away from the master bedroom as possible. Tooru was eternally grateful.

He rapped on Hajime’s door, giving him a chance to get some clothes on in case Tooru had caught him at a bad time.  _ “Ha~ji~me-kun~!” _ he sang, awfully, but at least in this case it was on purpose.

“Yo.”

Tooru walked in and found Hajime’s back to the door as he changed out his usual folding desk with a small kotatsu. “Oh! It’s that time of year already, huh?”

“Yeah, it was cold in here this morning so I figured…” Hajime turned and was silenced. Tooru didn’t know what happened, wasn’t sure if he should ask. It was only a brief two seconds before Hajime seemed to reset. “What are you wearing? Are you gonna be one of those people that starts wearing athletic clothes to laze around the house?”

“Iwa-chan, rude. It’s called  _ athleisure. _ And my jeans were still damp from the wash so this was all I had left. Have pity.”

It seemed Hajime had moved on from the running leggings and onto the hoodie. “And that’s mine.”

“Hn?”

“I let you borrow it when it rained really bad that one time, back in September.” Tooru remembered that day too. A straggling typhoon-season storm had gotten unexpectedly worse and almost left Tooru stranded at Hajime’s house. Hajime had leant him the hoodie so he could stay dry on the run home. His father always did the laundry so at some point after that the hoodie had become unintentionally integrated into Tooru’s closet.

“Oh, sorry, you should’ve said something,” Tooru began taking the hoodie off but Hajime stopped him.

“No, no. Don’t worry about it. Keep it on, it’ll be awhile before the room heats up anyway.” Hajime’s chivalry was going to kill Tooru someday. He was right, though, It was always drafty in these old houses in their neighborhood. Tooru often moved his futon away from the chilly window in the winter months.

Tooru took a seat under the kotatsu and Hajime plugged it in to get the heat going. Hajime’s copy of the script was already sitting on the tabletop so Tooru pulled his own copy from his bag.

“Where did you want to begin?”

“The basics, I guess. Before I focus on memorization I’d like to hear any advice.”

Oikawa Tooru was  _ not _ an actor, but he had seen enough TV dramas and movies to know the general pacing. And not that he would ever confess this to Hajime, but in his first local news interview he thought he looked rather stilted, so he had practiced faces in the mirror enough to know how to look when expressing a certain emotion. While Tooru thought about where to start, his eyes roamed around Hajime’s room until he spotted a book on the floor by Hajime’s bookbag. It was a guide on acting checked out from the school library.

“Did this help you at all?” he stretched long like a cat to pick it up, then flipped through the first few pages.

“I dunno. I didn’t really get a chance to look at it.”

Tooru thumbed through some of the early chapters about stretching and vocal warm-ups until he got to chapters about theory. “Oh! This makes a good point. You want to research your character and base your actions on what you learn about them throughout the play.” He snapped the book shut. This would be easy enough. “So, tell me about Elphaba. Do you think she’s fast or slow? That’ll help with your pacing.”

Hajime’s brows raised, like he was surprised. “Well. I think she’s fast.”

Tooru smiled. “You do?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hajime asked, frowning. “You don’t think so?”

“Let’s look at her history,” Tooru said, flipping through the script. “She comes from a family with a father who didn’t appreciate her and a spoiled little sister. I think, maybe, at the start of the play when she first enters the school, that she’s slow. When people start to appreciate her, the confidence will make her pacing quicker. Make sense?”

“Yeah, actually.”

“What do you mean  _ ‘actually?’ _ Don’t sound so shocked.” Tooru placed his copy of the script on the table where Hajime could see all of his highlighting and personal notes scribbled in the margins. “Let’s start with the basics, gimme a second…” He opened up Hajime’s theatre book to some vocal exercises. “Repeat after me: Only royal oily royal oil boils,” Tooru recited flawlessly.

“Uh.”

“Hm… Actually, that one’s a little too easy, how about: A big black bug bit a big black bear and the big black bear bled black blood.”

Hajime glowered, standing up at the sound of creaking floorboards, the telltale signal of someone coming up the stairs. “Now you’re just showing off,” he said lowly, opening up the door to reveal his mother with a tray of food and pot of tea.

“Here you go, boys!” she said, walking in and placing the food on the kotatsu. “Careful, the tea’s piping hot. Tooru-kun, I gave you a small cup of ice to help you drink it.”

Tooru gleefully clapped his hands together. “Thank you Auntie!”

“Just leave the tray by the door when you’re finished,” she said to Hajime. “Oh, I can’t wait to hear you sing again!” She waved one more time at Tooru before leaving.

Hajime sighed loudly before moving the plates off the tray and setting the kotatsu up for breakfast.

“She seems really happy about all this,” Tooru said, helping move the teapot and heating pad off the tray for Hajime to set it aside. “I thought Iwa-chan’s singing would’ve annoyed her by now.”

“I don’t… really sing that often,” he admitted, using the spoon in the small cup of ice his mom had made for Tooru to scoop out two cubes into a mug. He poured the tea over the ice and the sounds of it cracking and melting filled the room as the steam rose. “Not since elementary school, really. She’s probably just as psyched as anyone that I still have a knack for it. I couldn’t get her to leave me n’ Ikeda-san alone last week.” Hajime finished off the tea with a splash of milk, just the way Tooru liked it.

Tooru had his chin resting in his hand on the table, hoping his eyes didn’t look as lovestruck as he felt. It was a difficult feeling to squash when Hajime acted all domestic like this, no matter how much Tooru berated himself for it later. He found himself wondering if Keiko-chan got the same treatment. If Keiko-chan got to see Hajime when he was meticulously preparing tea.

Tooru knew exactly how Hajime liked his, and watched as his best friend added honey and mint leaves into his mug at just the right amounts before pouring the tea on top, not bothering to mix it in properly because he liked the taste getting stronger the closer he got to the bottom of the cup. When out with the guys he would get black coffee from cafes, but when it was just him and Tooru, he would always order something with caramel and heavy cream. Was that something Keiko-chan knew too?

At this point Hajime caught on that Tooru was studying his tea-making routine a little too intently and happened to catch his eyes. Tooru blinked and focused back down at their script.

“I, um…  _ ahem, _ I guess it’ll be too difficult doing tongue twisters with mouths full of rice, huh,” Tooru said, picking at his plate and Hajime just hummed in response as he started mixing an egg in with his rice. “To bring it back to the script, if there’s a difficult line you’re struggling with, give the words a cadence. I find that putting a rhythm to tongue twisters makes them easier…”

“Hey, Tooru.”

He wasn’t blushing. He  _ refused _ to blush. “Yes, Iwa-chan?”

Tooru glanced up from his plate, where he’d been making shapes with the sauce on the side of the fish, to Hajime’s nonplussed face. “Shut up and eat your breakfast.”

It was too easy to fall back into this routine. Tooru could tell himself repeatedly to stop feeling anything for Hajime, but the moment they stood next to each other it all happened naturally. The shared looks, trading food, leaning against each other, inside jokes built on a lifetime of friendship, the warm smiles…

Tooru just couldn’t let himself give up. Hajime may never be  _ his, _ but he could enjoy their time spent together to the fullest. At the very least, he owed it to Hajime to make his last months in high school as fun as possible, especially after their volleyball season ended so abruptly.

They finished eating and cleaned off the kotatsu’s table top before getting back to work. To really feel for a character went hand-in-hand with being a people person, which Tooru excelled at. He tried to pass the knowledge down the Hajime.

“Elphaba’s a lot like you,” Tooru said. “You know how you get when I do something annoying? Not like stupid annoying, but like regular annoying.”

There were many levels of annoyance, all of which Hajime was intimately familiar with as he nodded his head. “Yeah, sure.”

“You know how you shout at me and call me a dumbass? That’s how Elphaba feels towards Galinda. At first, she just ignores her because Galinda thrives off attention, but after Galinda wants to become friends, that familiarity lets them kind of go at each other’s teeth whenever they piss each other off. Like in the start of  _ Defying Gravity.” _

Hajime flipped through the script with great interest. “I see.” His copy wasn’t nearly as marked up as Tooru’s was, save for his highlighted lines and simple blocking instructions. He started making more notes based off of Tooru’s descriptions.

Tooru wasn’t sure how much Hajime would appreciate his takes on the characters, but seeing him take his suggestions to heart made his chest swell. Since they only had forty-five minutes to perform the play, and this included set and costume changes along with all the musical numbers, the actual amount of time spent acting wasn’t long at all. That was a lot of information to give in a small window, so acting and presentation were important.

“I know it’ll be difficult with the rod stuck up your back, Iwa-chan, but if you slouch, it makes your character seem small and unsure of herself. As Elphaba gains more confidence, she should be standing straight-up and proud by  _ Defying Gravity.” _

Hajime paused to think about it. “It’s not that I don’t disagree, it’s just…” He peered off towards the side. “…It’s just difficult. Acting wishy-washy.”

“Is there a certain scene you’re struggling with?” Tooru asked, leaning across the table to get a look at the page Hajime was on. It was a scene with a lot of dialogue between Elphaba and Fiyero.

“It’s the part right after they escape with the lion cub.” He gave Tooru a moment to flip to the appropriate page. “I practiced with Ikeda-san but she wanted to focus on singing. And when I practice alone… I dunno, it’s embarrassing.”

Tooru sat up primly. “Well, you don’t have to be embarrassed talking to yourself now that I’m here! What gave you trouble? Is it that you and Keiko-chan have bad chemistry? Sometimes it can’t be helped!”

“It’s not that,” Hajime said, shooting Tooru a half-hearted glare. “It’s Elphaba. This is the scene where she starts to fall in love with Fiyero and I don’t… know…”

Tooru watched in amazement as Hajime tried to articulate exactly what he it was that  _ he didn’t know.  _ The longer Hajime hesitated, the wider Oikawa’s eyes got. “You don’t… know what it feels like to fall in love.”

Hajime plopped his forehead into the palm of his hand, letting his fingers agitate his scalp. “I mean. Not like this, no.”

Hajime didn’t know how to act lovesick because he’d never felt that way before. He’d never had to deal with the heart palpitations? The crazy daydreams? The sleepless nights? Tooru didn’t know if he was heartbroken or thrilled or both.

They decided to read over the lines, with Tooru standing in for Fiyero.

_ “ _ _ We can't just let him loose anywhere, you know. We have to find someplace safe…” _ Hajime said, acting his best.

_ “Don't you think that I realize that? You must think I'm really stupid or something!”  _ Tooru said, channeling his Inner Hajime and acting short-tempered.

_ “No, not really stupid.” _

_ “Why is it that every time I see you, you're causing some sort of commotion?” _

_ “I don't cause commotions, I am one.” _

_ “That's for sure.” _

_ “Oh! So you think I should just keep my mouth shut! Is that what you're saying?” _

Hajime was still acting like a shrinking violet. Tooru decided to step in, “I think at this moment, Elphaba needs to be confrontational. When she asks  _ ‘Is that what you’re saying?’ _ I don’t think she means it in a self-loathing way. This is a moment where she learns to stand up for herself and moves from slow to fast.”

The acted out the scene again, this time with Hajime being a little more aggressive.  _ “Oh! So you think I should just keep my mouth shut! Is that what you're saying?” _

Tooru smiled happily, chin resting in his hand as he leaned forward. He could understand why Fiyero would be smitten by someone as fiery as Elphaba. For a moment, Tooru thought it a shame that he wasn’t cast as Fiyero instead.

“I think we’ve found our Elphaba,” he cheered, once they finished going through the scene enough times that Hajime was able to perform it closed-book. Hajime couldn’t hide his self-satisfied blush, but set it aside to tackle another problem they’d been facing.

“We should practice  _ Loathing _ while you’re here,” he said, getting the  _ Wicked _ songbook out. It was like the tables had turned. Hajime’s was marked with several notes while Tooru’s was left mostly untouched. In fact, Tooru didn’t even think to bring his songbook with him. The script already had the lyrics inside, and it wasn’t like Tooru knew how to read music.

There was an awkward moment of quiet as Tooru looked at his script, frozen. “So. Uh… who wants to start?”

“The first line is yours, dumbass,” Hajime said, not even bothering to glance up from his songbook. Tooru could  _ feel _ his eyes rolling regardless.

“Right. Of course.” Tooru cleared his throat.  _ “My dearling darlingest Momsie and Popsicle.” _

_ “My dear father.” _

Together, like a collision on a highway.  _ “There’s been some confusion over rooming here at Shiz.” _

Hajime even gritted his teeth! Tooru wanted to curl up under the kotatsu and die.

_ “But of course I’ll make you proud…” _ Hajime was laughing!  _ Laughing!! _

_ “But of course I’ll rise above it!” _

HE WAS STILL LAUGHING.

“Iwa-chan, I’m trying!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” he said between breaths, trying so hard to reel it in but failing so spectacularly. Usually Tooru loved it when Hajime laughed, but not when it was at his expense. “It’s just– It’s not that hard, Oikawa. You’re making this so much more difficult than it needs to be.”

“Well, I’m sorry I’m not a  _ genius.  _ Not all of us are born naturally gifted.”

Now Hajime had his head raised so Tooru could see him roll his eyes clearly. “It’s not like that. You’re good at volleyball because you practice every day, right? Even when you’re not physically able, you’re always thinking of ways to better yourself and the team. You can’t expect to magically wake up tomorrow morning and be good at… playing piano or jumping off the high-dive.” Tooru nodded. That much was obvious.

Hajime continued, “Singing’s like a muscle you have to exercise. It requires being able to listen to the music and doing your best to replicate what you hear. It’s something you can learn and practice, with time.”

Tooru had a feeling that was going to be the case, the imminent deadline of the arts festival loomed over them ominously. “But we only have about a month left. I’m not sure…”

“I told you accepting this role was going to be a huge responsibility.”

Tooru looked back down at his script. By now he had listened to the music several times and knew the range the actresses singing these parts were simply pitches Tooru couldn’t reach. The same went for Hajime, but he was still able to pull it off somehow. Tooru looked at the words and tried again.

_ “But of course I’ll rise above it!” _ The ‘rise’ wasn’t as high as it should be, but Tooru kept singing, and Hajime sang with him.

_ “For I know that how you want me to respond, yes– There’s been some confusion for you see my roommate is–” _

Tooru started acting the part of Galinda instead of focusing on his voice.  _ “Unusual and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe.” _

When he looked at Hajime for him to say his line, he was met with a smile. Not a  _ ‘Tooru fucked up again’ _ smile, but a proud, charming one.

_ “Blonde.” _ Hajime shifted and lifted up his phone from where it was resting out of view on his lap. “See? That was great.”

Tooru pouted. “It’s only good because I don’t really have to sing at the beginning. Harmonizing with you is difficult…” He paused when he realized that Hajime was messing with the recording feature on his phone. “Iwa-chan, you didn’t!”

He did. Hajime started playing back the few seconds of recording. Tooru cringed at the sound of his own voice.

“I wanna try something,” Hajime said, after listening to the recording three times (although Tooru thought the last time was unnecessary). “There’s a method of singing that’s easier for men to pull off than women. It’s more like… rhythmically saying the words, instead of singing them.”

Tooru wasn’t exactly thrilled by the concept at first. “Iwa-chan, it’s a musical, not a poetry reading.”

“Lots of musicals have them,” Hajime bit back. “You said it best yourself. Look at it like a tongue-twister. But rhythmically. Let’s try it with  _ Popular.” _ Hajime woke up his phone to start recording again.

“Iwa-chan, I don’t-”

“C’mon, you watch yourself play volleyball and fuck up serves all the time to learn how to get better. How’s this any different?” But to make Tooru feel better, he hid his phone out of sight behind the kotatsu. “So let’s try it again. Sing  _ Popular, _ but instead of trying to match the lyrics to the pitches of the original song, you just say them.” Tooru would be hemming and hawing all night at this pace. “Look, just pretend like you’re talking to me when you say the lines.”

Tooru begrudgingly skipped forward in the play to the  _ Popular _ scene and cleared his throat.

_ “Iwa-chan, now that we’re friends, I’ve decided to make you my new project.” _

Hajime smirked, trying not to laugh out loud and mess up the recording.  _ “You really don’t have to do that.” _

_ “I know,” _ Tooru smiled.  _ “That’s what makes me so nice.” _

Hajime was proud-smiling at Tooru again, so Tooru tried his best keep it there. He spoke the words with an even tone, emphasizing and elongating syllables where it matched the music, but overall keeping his voice steady and not going too high. He felt like a salesman giving a pitch, but in a Galinda kind of way. She exuded confidence, even if inside she was deeply insecure. Now that Oikawa had this new outlet for singing her songs, he felt like he understood her better.

_ “And though you protest your disinterest– I know clandestinely… You’re gonna grin and bear it, you’ve now found popularity! Ha! La~ La~ La~ La~ You’ll be popular– Just not quite as popular~ as~ me!” _

Oikawa felt  _ amazing. _ The  _ La’s _ at the end weren’t perfect, but this was by far the best he felt about his singing since this whole ordeal started. As for Hajime, that proud smile stretched into a full toothy grin as he reached down and stopped the recording on his phone.

“I think we’ve found our Galinda.”

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

They began meeting up for rehearsals in the theatre, meeting onstage after classes ended to go through stretches and vocal warm-ups. They were rapid approaching the Arts Festival, and by now everyone was off-script when rehearsing their lines.

Tooru watched from across the stage as Hajime helped Keiko-chan with stretching. It made sense. Hajime helped Tooru out with stretching at volleyball practice all the time. He was good at it. But what didn’t make sense was the way he smiled as he pushed softly on her shoulders in an attempt to get her to reach past her toes, or how they laughed when she practically fell into his arms as he helped her to her feet.

This was concerning, alarmingly so, but he couldn’t help but pick up the dialogue happening behind him, between Kikuta-san and her assistant director Saito-san from backstage.

“The songs themselves are going to be longer than the forty-five minutes,” Saito said. “I tried editing the music myself, but it doesn’t sound good at all.”

“So we might have to cut more songs?” Kikita replied, alarmed.

Tooru glanced over his shoulder and saw Saito nodding and looking alarmed. “I’m afraid so. We can’t use the CD as it is for our musical cues. We’d have to find someone to completely redo the music, and the music club’s busy with their own contribution to the festival.”

Kikuta bit at her fingernail while she thought. After a moment, she noticed Tooru eavesdropping and checked the time. “Okay! Is everyone done with their stretches?” she asked loudly, clapping her hands. The rest of the chorus chimed in. “Good! Let’s go through status reports! Kazune-san!”

She pointed to the set designer, who saluted her rigidly. “Everything’s on schedule, ma’am! We might need some help assembling the staircases and backdrops this weekend.”

Kikuta nodded as Saito made notes in his binder. “Very good. Yazawa-chan!”

“Costumes are mostly done, just need to be altered, and we’ll do adjustments after today’s run-through. The routine for the ballroom scene has been finalized and ready for the upcoming dance rehearsal!”

Tooru wasn’t terribly worried about the dance moves. He’d never danced before, ballroom or otherwise, but he was confident in his ability to learn quickly. What was a waltz compared to to a first-tempo group attack that turned into a feint?

The run-through went as seamlessly as it could without the blocking completely tied down. Thanks to Hajime’s lessons, Tooru was able to cheat his way through most of Galinda’s songs, voice only breaking twice in  _ For Good. _ Tooru still had a difficult time keeping up with Hajime in the duets, but Hajime was also willing to dumb down his singing to make up for it. Regardless, Kikuta was  _ ecstatic _ that Tooru was able to find a singing style that worked for him and the character.

Afterwards, everyone was buzzing with excitement at the debut of their costumes. Yazawa was a talented seamstress and was able to upcycle old costumes as well for the new play, so she altered an old prince costume to fit Keiko-chan’s body like a glove. When Keiko-chan stepped out on stage in her green Prince Fiyero costume, the girls screamed and immediately surrounded her. Tooru didn’t miss how Hajime’s eyes lit up as she exited the dressing room.

She looked… amazing. The green matched her skin tone and brightened her eyes. Her hair was stylish enough that she didn’t require a wig, and it was pulled back with a piece of green velvet ribbon. Keiko-chan glowed in her costume, loving the attention she was getting the same way Tooru would in her situation.

Hajime walked up to her and said something. It was difficult to parse over the exclamation from the crowd, but whatever it was made Keiko-chan laugh and playfully push Hajime’s shoulder. His smile lingered as he turned to say something to Yazawa. After a moment, Hajime disappeared with Yazawa into the changing room for him to try on the outfit Elphaba would wear in  _ Defying Gravity. _

Tooru was anxious, but he didn’t know what to expect. He had seen Yazawa’s sketches for her take on masculine versions of their costumes, and had instantly wanted to see what Hajime would look like in formal black. Hajime  _ never _ wore formal clothes that highlighted his attractiveness. It was always hidden behind ill-fitted school clothing or his usual hoodie and cargo shorts.

When the curtain pulled back, everyone was still distracted by Keiko-chan, but Tooru wasn’t. The moment his eyes landed on Hajime, he felt his breath stop and his heart clench.

It was a simple black hakama over a counterpart black kimono with a green collar that matched the fabric in Keiko-chan’s costume. Yazawa had said she wanted to use the hakama to emulate the dresses Elphaba wore while still keeping Hajime’s masculinity.

Tooru hadn’t seen Hajime in a yukata since middle school. His mind was reeling as Hajime nervously stepped out of the changing room to face the others.  It was uncanny, with only a few simple tweaks to the outfit, Hajime would look just like… a groom .

Once everyone laid eyes on him, there was another wave of commotion. They pulled Hajime away before Tooru could playfully antagonize his appearance, and stood him beside Keiko-chan for pictures.

“Oikawa-san, it’s your turn,” Yazawa said with a smile, hand placed on his shoulder to guide him to the dressing room.

The room was a curtained-off area backstage to give actors privacy when changing between scenes. There was room inside for several costumes, and Oikawa saw the periwinkle waistcoat that matched Yazawa’s design sketches from weeks ago. It was amazing how much she was able to get done in such a short amount of time.

“Go ahead and change into your slacks,” she said, handing him a pair of white fitted pants and gesturing towards a partition for him to change behind. “Your costumes are easy, compared to Ikeda-chan. You’ll wear the white slacks with the dress shoes and the white dress shirt.” Tooru looked down by his feet and saw a pair of white patent leather oxfords, slightly worn and probably from a previous production or a thrift store find. The slacks were hand-made and felt a little too long, and the shoes just half a size south of comfortable. The shirt was pre-manufactured and fit about as well as a five-hundred yen dress shirt should. Most of the bagginess was hidden by tucking the shirt into this slacks.

When he stepped out from behind the partition, Yazawa was already staring at him with a critical eye. “We can take this in a bit,” she insisted as she tugged on the sides of the dress shirt, safety-pinning it so it hugged Tooru’s torso. “Pants.” She immediately bent down and tucked in the hem to a reasonable length and safety-pinned that too. “Your legs are so long, I didn’t want to hem it too short by mistake.”

There was a full-body mirror in the room for Tooru to inspect his appearance. It was borderline angelic, all this white he was wearing coupled with the bright spotlight shining above, and reminded him a little of his volleyball track uniform. Yazawa appeared behind him and helped him into the waistcoat. The bottom half was cut to his mid-thigh and the insides layered with netting to make it really  _ poof, _ to emulate the ball gowns Galinda wore _. _ The whole coat was stitched with glimmering thread in swirling patterns, and pearl beading that glowed under the spotlights when the backstage area was in use.

“I’m glad this fits you,” she said, taking a step back to look at the finished product, all compiled together for the first time. The costume was formal by design, but something about it, maybe the spotlight reflecting off his shoes, or the bleached brightness in his slacks, or the way the waistcoat fell so gracefully at his hips made Tooru feel… bridal.

“Are you ready?” Yazawa asked. She pulled back the curtain to dressing room, whether Tooru was ready or not. He had been so lost in the moment that he hadn’t heard the commotion going on onstage.

When he appeared, everybody’s backs were to him as a sea of cellphones were focused on Hajime and Keiko-chan. They were singing  _ As Long As You’re Mine, _ and Hajime had a fond smile on his face as he listening to Keiko-chan sing. It looked nothing like the way Hajime looked at Tooru when they duetted together.

_ “Say there's no future– For us as a pair–” _

They sounded so beautiful together.  _ “And though I know I may know– I don't care–” _

So cloyingly beautiful.

They finished up the song, and everyone clamored about how they were posting it on Instagram and Twitter. Tooru overheard Kikuta say, “This’ll be excellent publicity.” It wasn’t until the excitement faded and everyone looked up from their phones that they even noticed Tooru standing there at all.

“You look amazing, Oikawa-kun!” one of the chorus girls from Class Two exclaimed.

Hajime was shoved into Tooru’s side by people wanting to take pictures. Tooru shook off whatever funk had crept its way in and posed dutifully. He winked, he smiled, stuck his tongue out, held up a peace sign, anything for a giggle and the sound of a camera shutter. Then they put Keiko-chan beside them so Hajime stood in the middle for even more pictures.

After they were done, there was more talk about when the chorus costumes would be finished, and when make-up tests would need to be done, with a heavy emphasis on Iwaizumi with all the green paint they would be putting on his arms and face. Tooru had never worn makeup before. Although he was about as interested in the idea as any teenager with occasional rashes of acne, he never had the time or the money to really dedicate to the craft.

“Things are going to pick up from here on out,” Kikuta said to everyone at the end of rehearsals, once Tooru and Hajime were back in their school clothes. “I have one more announcement before we disperse for the night. Apparently I was overzealous with the song selection and there’s little hope for our runtime to fall within the forty-five minutes the school’s giving us.”

Tooru perked up at this. Was there a chance that some of Galinda’s songs would be cut? Because he would be more than okay with that.

Kikuta continued, “So we’re trying to find someone who can edit the music files to fit within the time allotted. Does anybody have or know someone who has experience with sound file editing?”

Tooru sighed. No such luck… Meanwhile, Keiko-chan seemed to  _ Oh! _ out loud and tug on Hajime’s sleeve. They whispered back and forth, and Tooru watched them get on like a house of fire, his face not unlike a tragically shocked onlooker.

Eventually she needled Hajime enough to get him raising his hand. “Kikuta-san, I have a recommendation.”

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

Watari looked hesitantly between Hajime, Tooru, and Keiko-chan.

“Uh… you want…  _ me _ to handle the sound mixing for the play?”

Tooru raised a brow. “You own a moog, don’t you?”

“I don’t see how that has anything to do with–”

“And you post videos online of your music, right?” Hajime asked.

“But you can’t just chop up entire musical scores, you can’t speed them up and slow them down to fit your needs," Watari said, speaking slowly. He was looking past them now, expression thoughtful "This will requiring creating whole new music, and downloading orchestral instrument samples, and interpreting the sheet music, and possibly reworking the lyrics, and–”

“The more you talk, the less you sound like those are  _ bad _ things,” Keiko-chan said, an delighted shimmer in her eyes.

Watari looked up at her, eyes alight with the same level of excitement. “I’ll do it!”

 

✿❀✿❀✿❀✿❀

 

That weekend, Hajime and Tooru had agreed to help Kazune-kun with and some of the other set builders with putting the finishing touches on the prop stairs that were going to be used for the staging. There were two staircases, each standing about two meters tall. They would be what Tooru used to ‘float’ down to the townspeople at the beginning of the play, and what Hajime would use to ‘fly’ up during  _ Defying Gravity,  _ as well as set dressing throughout the play.

Kazune’s father was the manager of a woodshop that specialized in making furniture, so he was a natural when it came to overseeing the production of the larger background sets for the theatre club. Because the pieces to build the stairs were so large, they had to be assembled in the audience area, so the chairs had been cleared for the day to make room. Kazune roamed the work area, pointing out tasks and assisting when needed. The empty space echoed with the sounds of hammering and people yelling out orders.

“I need more nails over here!”

“Did anybody see where the extra black paint went?”

“Can I get some help installing the casters?”

Hajime had been tasked with lugging around the heavy boards that were going to be used for the steps. Tooru had been handed a paintbrush and told to keep busy painting the stairs black. Luckily, Matsukawa was also given similar busywork.

“Nobody trusted you to do any of the heavy lifting either, huh?” he asked.

Tooru sat back on his haunches and popped his back. Looming over the plyboard like this was doing nightmares to his neck. “I was excited for a more physical role in helping with the play, but not like this…” he sighed, then blinked and looked over at Mattsun. “Wait. Why are  _ you _ here?”

Mattsun pointed to his feet, concealed in a ratty old pair of sneakers. “Apparently, volleyball shoes aren’t the best at protecting toes when heavy solid wood boards get dropped on them. Seven times. In one day.”

Tooru winced. “Your feet are okay, right?”

“Relax,  _ Captain,” _ Mattsun just shrugged. “It’s fine. And I honestly don’t mind the painting.”

“And we certainly appreciate your help,” Kazune said, appearing suddenly behind him. Tooru flinched and drew his paintbrush up from the plyboard. He and Kazune didn't know each other well. He was a popular boy in the lower-level classes, a good catch for girls who were into brawn more than brain, but never enough for Tooru to see him as competition from his fanclub. He seemed nice enough, and Tooru supposed that his broad shoulders and lean muscle made him well-suited for the job of building sets. 

Kazune turned his warm eyes to Tooru and smiled so genuinely that Tooru felt his heart skip a tiny beat. It may have belonged to Hajime, but he wasn’t  _ blind. _ "How’s the painting going, Oikawa-kun?"

"Pretty well!" Tooru said cheerfully. Alright, so his heart was Hajime's, but maybe a little harmless flirting would do him good. It already felt like forever since he'd last had a girlfriend. He dipped his brush in the paint and slapped it clumsily onto the surface of the plyboard in demonstration of his technique. Black paint spattered across the surface and across the floor. "Ah - oops." He gave Kazune a dazzling grin, hoping he wouldn't notice the mess. "Did you need help with something else, Kazu-chan?"

"This is what you get for not putting his muscles to good use," Mattsun said, glancing down at the paint spatter that had stopped just short of his sneakers. "He thinks he's Michelangelo."

Kazune laughed. "I think you're doing great," he said, still smiling at Tooru.

"Thank you, Kazu-chan," Tooru said, preening under the praise. "I'm glad  _ someone _ appreciates my genius."

“I have a suggestion, if I may?” Kazune asked, leaning down towards Tooru’s paintbrush.

Tooru thought he was going to take the brush from his hand, but instead Kazune wrapped a large, warm arm around his and shadowed behind him, using his muscle to guide Tooru’s arm in a particular stroke across the plyboard. “You want to do it like this," he said, practically whispering into the Tooru’s ear as his hand touched Tooru’s arm gently. "Leave a small overlap to avoid clumps of paint left over from the edge of the brush. You want to move it firmly, keep a consistent rhythm.” 

"Oh, yes," Tooru said faintly. His face was hot, as was his hand where Kazune was still touching him. "I see."

Kazune cleared his throat. "I could show you more later, if -"

“Kazune-kun!" a boy shouted from across the room. “We need your help with the balusters!” Tooru’s back was left cold when Kazune moved away and dusted himself off.

“Feel free to shout if you need any help,” he said with another warm smile before leaving.

“Thank you very much, Kazu-chan!” Tooru called with a little wave. He turned his smirk to Mattsun, whose bushy eyebrows were creeping ever-farther towards his hairline.

“Well that was hot,” he said, and Tooru couldn’t help but agree. It’d been a long time since someone so flagrantly flirted with him, he'd started to wonder if he’d lost his touch.

“I know right? Gotta keep my strokes firm and consistent for Kazune-kun,” he laughed, hoping his blush wasn't too noticeable.

The moment didn’t last long until a shadow fell across the plyboard. Tooru glanced up and saw Hajime practically glaring at him, the skin on his arms and forehead  _ glowing _ from lifting all afternoon. “Oh! Hi, Iwa-chan.”

He looked like he was pouting, his brows creased in that way that was already forming a permanent dent in his forehead. Tooru just wanted to poke it.  _ “Kazu-chan?” _ Hajime demanded.

Tooru blinked, relaxing for a moment and letting his chin rest on his hand. “Yes? He stopped by and gave me some good advice.”

There was a strange electricity in the moment. The energy was similar to when Hajime confronted him on the court. He was usually able to articulate his statement in few words, but Tooru simply stared back, silently daring him to say something further.

In a rare turn of events, Hajime broke first, shifting his eyes to the side with a sigh. “You, uh… wanna walk home together?”

It’s not liked they’d talked about it, but Tooru assumed since they were neighbors that  _ of course _ they’d walk home together. “Oh. Sure.”

“Ramen?”

He nodded. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

Mattsun had been sitting right beside him, watching the stilted conversation like a tennis match. “No, it’s fine. Don’t bother inviting me. I’ll just starve.”

“Then perish.” Hajime didn’t spare him a second look as he turned his back and started walking towards the step assembly. Tooru barked laughter into Mattsun’s face before they went back to work painting the steps.

The ramen on their way home was delicious, and Hajime didn’t bring up Keiko-chan or the play once. For one brief moment, Tooru let himself dream again. That this wasn’t just their usual ramen stop, but a fancy restaurant, and Hajime was wearing a nice suit instead of his school uniform, and when he walked Tooru to his home’s front gate, he would chivalrously give him a kiss goodnight on the cheek.

Of course, none of these things happened, but Hajime did stall at Tooru’s gate, which was out of the ordinary. Tooru paused, waiting for Hajime to speak.

“The play’s… coming up soon, isn’t it?” he said.

Tooru stared blankly. As if the play’s schedule hadn’t been tattooed into the backs of their eyelids since day one of rehearsals. “Yeah, just two weeks until the festival. Feels crazy.”

“Practice for the ballroom choreography’s next weekend, are you ready?”

Tooru’s mind flashed again, to another time, another place, that same dream where Hajime wore a suit, and they were someplace fancy, together, and Hajime reached out his hand, beckoning Tooru for a dance. The fantasy felt oddly marital, and thankfully the shadows from the streetlamp hid Tooru’s blush.

But then, his fantasies returned to reality, and the roles they played, both in the play and in their real lives. Elphaba didn't dance with Galinda. Hajime didn't dance with Tooru. During the choreography rehearsal, Tooru would be forced to dance with Keiko-chan, as the play required. Hajime was probably asking because he was jealous.

Tooru smiled stiffly, tilting his head to the side in a disarming way. “There’s no need to fret, Iwa-chan! My relationship with Keiko-chan is purely professional. I won’t stand in the way of my very precious friend’s last chance at a meaningful high school relationship!”

Hajime’s face fell, that small crease in his brows returning. “Idiot, that’s not what I–”

At that moment, the light from the kitchen window blinked on. “Oh! My mom’s probably waiting up for me,” Tooru said, opening the gate and shutting it behind him, thankful for the space between them. “Goodnight, Iwa-chan!”

Like a spell breaking, Tooru watched the irritation on Hajime’s face, the sustained frown, his hands making fists inside his pants pockets. Truly, Tooru didn’t know what Hajime looked like when he was in love, because he was pretty sure it shouldn’t look like this.

“Goodnight, dumbass.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on twitter! [@skmisfit](https://twitter.com/skmisfit/) (r18 fandom account, linked directly to my ao3.) [@kachi_rules](https://twitter.com/kachi_rules/) (my relatively sfw account. i don't really post anything related to my fics there tho… my coworkers follow me on there lol;;;;;; )
> 
> Thanks for reading! My goal is to have the last chapter posted before the story's one-year anniversary, so if I'm able to get my butt in gear, hopefully there will be a final chapter before March! (which seems like a long time from now but from this writer's perspective I promise it really isn't lol……………) To help push me forward please please please leave kudos and comments! I really appreciate them a lot!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Please consider leaving a review and a kudos!
> 
> This fic is planned to be four chapters long, and I'm about halfway through writing chapter three. I normally don't like posting fics until they're 100% completed, but I had a feeling if I didn't post the first chapter, I would spend the rest of my life tinkering with the whole story and never sharing it! T_T
> 
> (I'm not saying reviews will help me write faster, but I'm also not saying they won't help encourage me, winkwinknudgenudge)


End file.
